Pure gold reposted from another forum....

Even if you don't write it ,you can't post profanity on this web site!

Edited by (EVILDAVE)

Criminals are just no fun! They get in the way of everyday law abiding life!

AC freon tubing would work. Just put a bit of PVC hose on the tip to keep the lips cool.

Sciontists, lock your hoods! No, better not. They'll only ruin the sheetmetal.

what a great posting! fun! thank you!

thats gotta be one of the funniest posts i have ever read in my life...I hope he goes for option number 2 :pray: :rofl:

that crackhead was getting annoying :roll:

Now, you might say that I should have just gotten a 3/8"-to-1/2" drive adaptor instead of springing for the whole ratchet. And to that I say "Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I'm not finished.

:rolling:

Now, you might say that I should have just gotten a 3/8"-to-1/2" drive adaptor instead of springing for the whole ratchet. And to that I say "Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I'm not finished.

:rolling:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :clap:

nice post :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Cool story.

Speaking of crappy crack head things.......

This summer my Girl friend calls me and says she blew a tire and is late for work. So I ride down pick her and take her to work leaving the truck sitting while I take her to work. I get back to her truck and change the tire. I get my dad to help me get all the cars home. Since it was dark when I changed the tire I didn't really look to see the reason for it. When I get back to the house and get some decent light, I find a broken off piece of car radio antenna about 6 inches long stuck in the tire. I pull it out and it’s burnt on one end...

So this is the first ever flat tire from a crack pipe that I have ever heard of. Best part is this all happened within 2 blocks of my house, I just love living in the hood. The guy stealing sparkplugs must need them because he left his pipe in the middle of my road.

What link are you all talking about???

What link are you all talking about???The one I deleted.

Why was the link deleted? People post NWS links all the time. Well if the link is gone, this thread is worthless. Might as well lock it.

yeh mr. Mod...atleast lock it if you're gonna make it worthless. someone PM me the link plz.

Yeah, if you can't share with the class...Don't bring it to our attention. :tap:

:rofl:

We want to read about crack heads too. :lalala:

It had the s an f words in it.
thread author could have, and still could put the quoted text back in without the off limits words.

that's his job, not the mods'.

It had the s an f words in it.
thread author could have, and still could put the quoted text back in without the off limits words.

that's his job, not the mods'.Thank You! if the author wants to re-post it and edit first thats fine. I was being a nice guy and did'nt warn him.

It had the s an f words in it.
thread author could have, and still could put the quoted text back in without the off limits words.

that's his job, not the mods'.

Well S*^$....if I would have know that...no F*%^*#@ way would I have asked for it. :rofl:

:rofl: Didn't know he had quoted it. :doh:

If he'd had just a link it probably would've been fine then, right?

So the language filter doesn't work on quoted material?

Yeah, it was rated a solid PG 13 and we aren't mature enough to handle a pottymouth. :nails:

So the language filter doesn't work on quoted material?

apparently not. it said f and s a few times.
it was very very well written and nothing you don't hear on cable tv.

If thread author is gone maybe someone can google to find that thread?

What were the keywords?

motorcycle spark plug crack. crackhead antenna socket porcelain.

(will look)

http://www.sportbikes.ws/archive/index.php/t-40374.html
Tell ya what: Google is da shizzit! This came up at the top of the list.
I put the bad words into clean words (in parentheses) and spaced out the text
for ez reading.






Dear Crackhead!!

Yes, you. You sick (fornicator). On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend's building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle.
At the time, I had no idea why anyone would do that. Other than the sparkplugs, the bike was untouched.
Some kind of bizarre vandalism? A fraternity prank gone awry? I had no idea.

All I knew is that I looked like a huge douchebag riding the Muni to work in a padded motorcycle jacket and helmet.

Because the bike was immobilized I got a $35 street sweeping ticket that night.

Thursday I had it towed to the shop ($45) where they replaced the sparkplugs and the boots ($50 including labor).

They explained to me that "people" - I use the term loosely here - like, you break off the tops of spark plugs and use the porcelain tubes to smoke crack.

As an engineer and former MacGyver fan, in a way I think this is kind of cool.
But then I remember that I just paid $100 for YOUR crackpipes and I get angry again.

Crackhead, it was really good to have my bike back though.
I rode home from the shop with a couple of spare sparkplugs and a smile on my face. I figured the next time I parked at my girlfriend's place overnight I would have to buy some crackpipes and tape them to my bike as a peace offering.

Overall, I wasn't that upset. Despite having to ride the bus for three days and dropping a hundred bones at the shop, I had gained some fascinating knowledge, a new set of sparkplugs, and a pretty funny anecdote about how #%ked up you are, and how our paths once crossed briefly in the night.

But you couldn't just let sleeping dogs lie, could you Crackhead?
You couldn't just stay in on Friday, watch Letterman through the window of a home electronics store and then call it a night.
You couldn't rest on your laurels. Two porcelain sparkplug crackpipes just wasn't enough for you, was it Crackhead?
You just had to come back for more.

This morning, a scant fifteen hours after I rode it out of the shop, I found my motorcycle violated once again.
This time you only took the right one - maybe you were having an off night.
At least this time I had a spare sparkplug and the tools to fix it - or so I thought - having ordered a 73-piece toolset from SEARS.com last week.
But no, the sparkplug socket in my new toolset was for American sparkplugs. So I had to go down to the neighborhood Ace hardware.

They had an 18mm socket that would fit over my sparkplug, but it was for a 1/2" drive ratchet. My toolkit only has 1/4" and 3/8" ratchets.
So I had to buy a 1/2" ratchet along with the socket.
Even though the clerk took pity on me and gave me the senior citizen discount (I'm 25) it still cost me $22 all told.
Now, you might say that I should have just gotten a 3/8"-to-1/2" drive adaptor instead of springing for the whole ratchet.
And to that I say "Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I'm not finished. And besides, I was eventually going to buy a 1/2" ratchet anyway so it's probably not worth it to take it back now."

OK, now I'm rambling. But the point is, Crackhead, that you have done me wrong. Now, I get that you love crack. That is totally understandable.
I've heard it is really fun, at first, and quite addictive.
What I don't understand is,

YOU ARE A CRACKHEAD. WHY DON'T YOU OWN A CRACKPIPE?

I am an engineer. Do you ever see me shaking down bums in the Loin for a calculator and sliderule? No, you don't. Because engineering is the main thing I do, I went and bought myself a calculator.

The main thing you do is crack. How do you get by without a crackpipe?
The other crackheads must clown on you non-stop.
I mean, the (fornicating) saw you used to saw off my sparkplugs is probably worth five or ten bucks. Why not sell or trade it for a crackpipe?

You really haven't put much thought into this, have you?

Please, Crackhead, please don't tell me you sold your crackpipe to buy crack.
Even a stupid crackhead such as yourself couldn't possibly be that stupid.

I've decided that taping crackpipes to my motorcycle would be tantamount to appeasement. You have crossed a line, Crackhead - specifically California Street.

You have come onto my own street and you have desecrated that which I hold dear.

You have stolen from me, and you have caused me to spend the last half hour writing this post instead of engineering (fecal), and it is concievable, if not likely, that my boss could find out about this and fire me.
I am hella ____ed at you dude.

Here are my options as I see them:

1. Write a note saying that I have coated both of my sparkplugs in rat poison and tape it to my bike at night. You can thank Tim for that one, it was his idea.

2. Don't write a note, but just coat both sparkplugs in rat poison. This is probably closer to a punishment that would fit your despicable crime.
I'm sure this is super illegal and (fecal), but it's not like anyone is going to miss you, Crackhead. Don't fool yourself.

3. Wait in an alley near my bike armed with my new stainless steel mirror-finish Ace Professional brand 1/2" drive socket wrench, my 18mm sparkplug socket, and my searing rage.
It's pretty heavy and well balanced. I am not a large man, but I am angry.

In conclusion, Crackhead, why don't you just do both of us a favor and buy yourself a crackpipe?
It will both enhance your crack smoking experience and save me a lot of time and felony assault charges.
Think about it.

Sincerely,
Matt


** If you are not the Crackhead that took my sparkplugs, please disregard this posting ***
ahead is offline Reply With Quote

Careful Reid, the team "shizzit" could be construed as bypassing of the language filter and might lead to a post edited for dangerous adult material.

rat poison!!!!

welcome to the intarweb....there is also a picture of a jetta with a lot of wood on the roof. dang, that one's funny too.

That was well worth the read. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks