Space *****

Dark Helmet: We were told to comb the desert so we're combing it.
[to two white henchmen with a giant comb]
Dark Helmet: Found anything yet?
Henchmen: Nothing sir!
[to two more white henchmen with a giant comb]
Dark Helmet: How bout you?
Henchmen: Not a thing sir!
[to two black henchmen with a giant pick]
Dark Helmet: What about you guys?
Henchmen: Man, we ain't found ____!

 

Talledga Nights


"If you don't chew big red gum, then ____ YOU."

 

"English MF'er, do you speak it!?" -Samual L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

"Hanzel, so hot right now." -Will Ferrel, Zoolander

 

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

 

"Your clothes, give them to me NOW." -- The Terminator
"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." -- The Terminator 2 Judgement Day

 

All from HAPPY GILMORE

Shooter: "Just stay out of my way or you'll pay. Listen to what I say."
Happy: "How about I just go eat some hay. I could make things out of clay, and lay by the bay. I just may. What d'ya say?"

Happy: "Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy tap tap taparoo!"

 

Usual Suspects: "He'll flip you, flip you for real."
Fear and Loathing: "We can't stop here. This is bat country!"
Borat: "High Five!"

 

"I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. "
-Michael Bolton

"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Dom too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll, I'll, I'll set, the building on fire...
Y-- Excuse me. You-- I believe you have my stapler? "
-Milton Waddams

"You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."
-Peter Gibbons

"I'm thinking about taking that new chick from Logistics. If things go right I might be showing her my O-face. You know: Oh. Oh. "
-Drew (can now be seen on Allstate commericials)

""What" ain't no country I ever heard of! Do they speak English in "What"? "
-Jules Winfield

"Nah man, I'm pretty flippin far from OK. "
-Marsellus Wallace

"Oh man, I just shot Marvin in the face. "
-Vincent Vega

"Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some flippin' muscle."
- Wooderson

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older and they stay the same age."
-Wooderson

"Say man, you got a joint on you man? ...It be a lot cooler if ya did."
-Wooderson

"Party at the Moon Tower."
-Wooderson

 

Full Metal Jacket: "Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few marines! God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your a$$ belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?"

 

"Dang, that was lucky! God darn near lost a $400 handcart!"
-Taggert

"Mongo only pawn in game of life. "
-Mongo

"Excuse me while I whip this out... "
-Bart

 

Swingers: "I'm gonna make Gretsky's head bleed for superfan 99 over here."
"Look at you. You wanna kiss me."

Come to think about it, I think that entire script is quotable.

 

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler

 

"Alright, fine, I’ll ask her. Ma’am, where do all the high school girls hang out around here?"
-Trent (swingers)

"You're so money and you don't even know it!"
-Trent and others

"I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know. The guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man."
-Trent

"You got these flipping claws and these fangs, man. And you’re looking at your claws and you’re lookin’ at your fangs and you’re thinkin’ to yourself, ‘I don’t know what to do’, man. ‘I don’t know how to kill the bunny. With this, I don’t know how to kill the bunnies’, man."
-Trent

 

Tommy: Are you sayin' I can't shoot?
Turkish: No Tommy, I'm not saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. I'm saying that six-pound piece of sh*t stuck in your trousers would do more damage if you fed it to him.

 

"the entire British Empire was built on cups of tea, so if you think I'm going to war without one, you're mistaken!"

"There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses."

"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.'

"Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, flip-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shut 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro. "

 

"You'll do your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f#@& the prom queen!" (Sean Connery, The Rock)

 

I know what you're thinking,
"Did he fire 6 shots? or only 5".
Well, the truth of the matter is;
in all this excitement, I've kind of lost count myself.
But being that this is a .44 Magnum,
the most powerful handun in the world,
and could blow your head, clean off;
the question you gotta ask yourself is;
"Do I feel lucky?"
Well? Do ya? Punk!?

-Harry Callahan "Dirty Harry"

 

Guy Fleegman: I changed my mind. I wanna go back.
Sir Alexander Dane: After the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh---I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows! Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman: DO I?! DO I?!?! For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"!


Shaun: As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he was talking about.



"Dodge this."

 

Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fu**in' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a f$*k what kind of pants the son-of-a-b*tch who shot you was wearing?

Anyone name this one without looking it up???

 

"Why don't you make like a tree, and get the f$#k outta here?" - doc in boondock saints