A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through
her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and
handed it to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

 

lol. good times. I'd add to the jokes, but in doing so I'd violate most of the rules of this forum.

 

hey, hey, hey.....

j/k

 

^ I'm with her!!!! LOL

 

thats a classic!!!

 

Careful muchacho... you're treading on thin doghouse there.

That one will go down in the blond joke books.

 

Reminds me of another blonde joke...

A police officer sees a car swerving violently back and forth. He flips on the lights and pulls the car over. As he walks up to the car, he sees a blonde with a scared look on her face. The officer asks the blonde why she was swerving back and forth in the middle of the road with nothing there.

The blonde replies, "Well officer, I was driving and all of a sudden, I looked to the right and saw a tree really close to my car. So I swerved to avoid it. As soon as I did, another tree popped up so I turned the other direction and trees just kept popping up. I was so scared."

The officer scratches his head a bit, then bends down and looks inside the blonde's car. The police officer looks at the blonde and says "Maam, it was your air freshener."

 

HAHAHAHA! ^^^nice

 

 

 

Outstanding jokes

 

John

 

like...uh I dont get it.... jk lol those are funny

 

HAHAHA keep 'em coming

 

Those are actually funny blonde jokes. Not the ones that are just plain stupid and mean.

 

a lot of blond jokes: here



There were three women, a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. They all worked together at an office. Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The red head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opened the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she quietly shut the door and left.
The next day, the brunette and the red head are talking about going home early again. They ask the blonde if she wanted to leave early again. "No," she says, "I nearly got caught yesterday!"

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

A blonde working in a office is constantly being kidded about how dumb she is so one evening she goes home and studies a map of the United States. The next day she goes into the office and announces that she knows all 50 states and their capitals. One of her office mates asks, "OK, what's the capitol of Wyoming?" and the blonde replies, "W."

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility you can make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About a month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?
"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

Two blondes are in a train station. "Can I take this train to Boston?" asks the first.
"No," answers the ticket agent.
"Can I?" asks the second blonde.

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang -- but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed. "But. What happened to your other ear?"
"They called back".

Three Blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pops out. The genie looks at the three Blondes and says, "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish." Well the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF!! She disappears. The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF!! She disappears. The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is. "Gee," she says, "I'm really lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here ..."[/url]

 

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter."

***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese

***************

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided! to have some fun.

He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happene d.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

****************

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.

The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.

As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."

"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.

****************

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold"

"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it? "

The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee"


***************

This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around. This should make all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD:

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.

Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

 

My 13 year old told me this one tonight at dinner:

A blonde and brunette jump off of a building at the same time. Who lands first?

The brunette. The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.


My son loves me

 

Haha. Good jokes!!

 

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know ____?"