...................................

joke...hello...

 

i dont think blondes and menopausal women are jokes either! damn your insensitive...

lol j/p

 

 

What's the difference between General Custer and Jim Beam?

Jim Beam is still killing Indians.

...I go through some of the Indian Res's to go fishing and they are so ghetto. Reminds me of L.A. sometimes

 

knock knock.
whose there?
nobody.
nobody who?




...

 

i always ruin the knock knock jokes by saying "come on in"

 

License plate: GO EZ

MR LUV

 

wow, hope that's mud...

 

and another one bites the dust

 

thats not mud a big flying bird just pooped it out

 

no joke! I've seen a seagull crap on someone's car, and it looked something like 2 cans of chocolate tuna all over their driver's window!

there was also an incident with a septic truck, and it flipped over. It was nasty!

 

did you hear about the two ___ truckers?

they exchanged loads..

.

what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

a lickalottapuss

 

(presidential press conference)





Reporter: MR. PRESIDENT. QUESTION. IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR; WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR KATRINA?

Bush: WE'RE GONNA FIND HER.

 

A lady was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk

A carton of eggs

A quart of orange juice

A head of romaine lettuce

A 2 lb. can of coffee

A 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk

standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

"You must be single."

She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual

about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: "Well, you know what, you're

absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"





The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

 

Three women have a very late night drinking.

They leave in the early morning hours and go home their separate ways.

The next day, they all meet and compare notes about who was drunkest the night before.

The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks for 10 minutes."

The second says, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped it around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance."

The third says, "No, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked over a candle, and burned the whole house down!"

She begins to cry. The room falls silent.

Finally, the first girl speaks up: "I don't think you understand...Chunks is my dog!"

 

gross

 

^^ Im speachless

 

Fifty six pages over three work days, time to contribute a few of my own

1. A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife, surprised by this, asks "Clem, what are you doing?"
The farmer says "Honey, this is the pig I have sex with whenever you have a headache." his wife looks at him and states "Thats a sheep, you idiot!" to which he flatly replies: "I wasn't talking to you."

2. A farmer is arrested for sodomizing one of his cattle. During his trial, the judge asks "What were you thinking?!?" to which the farmer replies "Well, I reckon I was thinkin of a hotter, younger cow..."

 

good one

 

*Blonde Joke Alert*

A blonde girl has just gotten a cell phone and she's new to texting. She's trying to figure out what everything means.
She walks up to one of her friends and asks, "What does IDK mean?".
The friend answers, "I don't know".
The blonde replies, "OMG..knowbody knows!!".