humpty111

I thought this was funny.....You would would be surprised how much of this is true....!

How To Drive Like A Floridian....

****This is meant as a joke****

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Florida driver never uses them.


2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.


3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.


4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.


5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially someone from Florida or Georgia. With no- fault insurance the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.


6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.


7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering the highway.


8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any County during rush hour.


9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Florida driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.


10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.


11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of high-speed slalom driving.


12. It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.


13. Remember that the goal of every Florida driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.


14. In Florida, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.



THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY

micromachine

Only someone who drives down here can understand!!!!!

violent_b

you have to remember that 75% of the people down here lived up north. so should the title be "How to drive like a northerner in Florida"?

chadfo

Maybe this thread should be labeled for driving in the South. People here in South Carolina drive the same way.

qualityscion

There is nothing more true!!!! The Northerners are the ones that go 50 in a left lane when the signs along the road state "Slower traffic keep right".

TJandBOXCARWILLIE

Yes indeed!

tCholleration

ahahhaa lovely.

u83rp5ych0

this all couldnt be more true. I lived up north (north dakota) before i came to florida, but that was about 8 years about (im 19) so i started driving here. And yes the speed limits are enforced here, but only if you are doing 20+mph over the limit.

UBOW

I was in Tampa/St. Pete 2 years ago for an extended business trip. I have never seen so many BAD drivers in my life! It took me a couple of days to learn to cound to 5 before moving off a green light. Any sooner and you ran the risk of being hit by the idiot who was running the red! Saw it over half the time in the 4 months I was there.

If the other cars weren't busy running red lights they were busy going way too slow, way too fast, ignoring basic driving courtesy and any traffic sign meant to protect human life.

I find it relaxing now to drive through any part of Los Angeles at any hour of the day... and that is saying something!

TREX212426

DAMN! Vic just took us to church on that satire...wait its the truth...lol preach on!

SciFly

great!

need one more at least: one third or more of drivers in Miami will not pull into the intersection to make a left turn on the greeen light. they sit behind the white line hoping for what? A green arrow that is not there! So you are stuck behind the person. The light turns red. Then when it goes green again they sit there again! Now the light goes through its cycle again. -As the light goes to red again-, the dimbrain -then moves- to make its left turn. But now the light is red again and you are stuck again!

arrrgh!

Inuyashalover

true dat. omg like all of that is sooo true about FLA. you know how mant times a FREAKin BMW has tried to side swipe me without turn signals....one things for sure your pretty good at defensive driving if you live around all this... but then again if a BMW eventually gets me i'm taking him and his BMW to town! USE turn signals foo!


mmm anyone for traffic autcrossing?? lol!


<--- flying toaster

squarepants

what about the ones that drive 5 mph in the passing lane on the expressway,don't they make your day........

u83rp5ych0

i do about 85 on the interstate in the passing lane (hell on gas) and yes those people do ____ me off, especially when i have to change lanes to pass them when they are supposed to move.

grzydj

After living in Panama City Beach for two years now, I've realized that nobody in Florida is from Florida. Southern, or Northern.

I also hate the term "Northerner" I grew up in the midwest, where there were people that lived there that may have been from the south, or wherever. We never had to coin them as "southerners"

I'll be sure not to buy an xB from you, I'll make sure I find a displaced northerner to buy from you southerner.

alreadyblue

Man, it's not just Florida. It's the whole Atlantic Coast. From Boston down to Miami. I think everybody on the East (and West Coast for that matter) should be forced to take drving lessons in the Midwest.

Actually the roads up here in the Tri state area are so bad that it forces you to slow down abit. That doesn't stop all the idiots though.

And to all the "traffic weavers" out there. STAY IN THE LEFT LANE! If traffic is heavy, you will not get there faster by weaving between lanes. IT will actaully slow you down, ____ a lot of people off, and most likely cause an accident. The left Lane is almost always the fastest lane.

mill0048

This is too funny! I'm sure it's not only Floridians, but still very funny none the less.

yournightmare

Red lights are just a suggestion in Florida.

MyLilXBox

Yeah Ill agree with that. My Husband and I are Floridians and when people ask "Hey where are you from?" "Florida!" they seem shocked that people have actually been born in this state. Most are transplants.

rebelMan

omg so tru, i contribute to a few of those too =P