I am having some problems with someone who I've known for 3 years, dated for almost 2, and been a good friend with for like 8 months. She cuts her wrists and says she has reasons for it, like feeling pain blah blah blah. I've dealt with it enough. It simply makes no sense. There is absolutely no reason for it. I did some reasearch on people's opinions, those who cut and those who don't...

For those who cut:

Any excuse you give can be handled with other ways. I have been through some crazy crap and always found something to calm me down and make me feel better, regardless of who was or wasn't there to listen. I know some people who have had real problems and handle them like real humans, with their brain. Suicide thoughts? endorphines? are you serious? natural high? go outside and do something. get a job, go out with friends, volunteer, go clubbing, blast music. This is just off the top of my head. There's a reason why it is A PROBLEM. It's NOT a solution. This is the 21st century, everyone goes through hardships. But hell, try living in places like Iraq, Israel, El Salvador, Bolivia, Mexico, any African country, or any 3rd world country for that matter. Don't talk about not knowing what you go through. Do you know what people in these places go through everyday?

I remember having to sell fruits in a basket to have dinner just for that night. There was no phone, no vacations, education was a joke, kids fought over anything and sometimes stabbed others for food/supplies at school, family was separated by distance as there was no money for a car or even a bus. This was not even close to being the worst place in Mexico. I was living ok. These high school kids can't get over a breakup or failing a few math tests and started a stupid trend. I even saw these kids on yahoo answers who commented to another kid that he's not a "true cutter" because he only likes to see blood. WTH, is this like 50 cent telling half the world they're not a true gangsta cuz they're not as dumb as him?

Get a job, save some money, go to one of these 3rd world countries, and have someone slap you in the face. That should get rid of the urge. Appreciate your life and your body, there's people who dont even have arms after a bad experience. You think they'd cut them if they got them back? this needs to stop somehow.

I'm usually not the one who would say all this, but trying to help a person who's now close to me and refuses to stop doing it irritates me. I'm just speaking my mind here, something I do instead of taking a weapon to myself.

 

I can't stand that crap. I used to have a friend that did that. They're just looking for attention.

 

Tell 'em to quit the Emo game and get a sword and go Seppuku.

 

i agree with the OP, seriously many people here have no idea what real hardships are.. On my old place, getting money for food was a struggle.. even college graduates have problem getting jobs.. go to grocery and departments stores and most that works their are all professionals

 

there's supposed to be diferent reasons. the sight of blood, attention, feels good for that moment, a natural high, a way to suppress emotional pain, endorphines released when you cut them, and other crap. sounds like reasons to take crack or shoot heroine.

 

Tell her to grow up. I know it sounds harsh but people who are still living at home (I'm assuming) and don't have any real responsibilities need to just grow up and realize that their lives aren't so bad.

 

why not just stop being judgmental of what she's doing, try to understand and maybe help her? isn't that what a real friend would do?

i've had friend that do that and yeah...it's hard to see or hear about, but you know what? if you care enough, you'd try to help and stop judging them for it...

what you're doing is the equivalent of talking trash behind your back....true friends stab you in the front

 

^x2


that made me laugh....i was born there and lived there for 13 years and it wasn't bad...worse than here yea but not so much.

 

there's no backstabbing here, i told her it's pointless and dumb (when she's in a good mood). she understands what I mean but still holds on to what seems like reasons. and I helped her quite a bit, but she seems to not do anything for herself, like she depends on others to be in a good mood or w.e.

I'm not asking for help, as its hopeless to get someone to stop. you can only supress their urge until they find time to be alone. Then, what you told them or did for them was pointless.

I'm just telling others to chill with it. and tellin her to grow up is true, I'd have to try it.

btw, there's nothing to understand. it's beyond human nature to injure oneself.

 

Been there. Listen when I say you cannot help someone unless they are willing to help themselves. I've been through a lot trying to help said friend. She was just looking for attention in the long run. If you're going to do something, do it right. It's down the road, not across the street.

 

08tC: I never said it was all bad, there's good areas in every country. but there's far many more people who go through crap worse than these teens do.

 

TheMerovingian: well said.

 

I understand that...believe me...

but to bring this issue to complete strangers, on a public forum...thats not talking trash behind someone's back?

wanna go rant about someone else's problem without stabbing them in the back? go write in a journal...

coming in here and telling people about something that you truly do not understand is just plain ridiculous

 

I completely agree. The OP never went into specifics about said friend, so I don't believe he's going behind her back and stabbing them. He's looking for other ways to deal with it as a friend hence coming here and seeking advice.

 

what is there to understand tho? you like to cut? you understand the excruciating pain of a teenager who still has everything given to them, has close friends, a complete family, parents with middle class income, good grades, scholarships waiting for her, and MORE? and I'm not saying any names, either. she's not being exposed.

 

i'm sure she'd love to find out that you're talking about her problems online...i'm sure you'd love it if your friends came online and talked about whatever problems you may have to complete strangers....name or not, I still wouldn't want my business being posted online like that by a friend...

and having everything handed to you doesn't make you happy...

 

wat should make her happy that she wouldn't have already? since you seem to know exactly what they want. she does what she wants most of the time, she usually get what she wants too. not being happy for whatever reason doesnt justify taking a knife to her wrists.

 

Its been brought to my attention that my daughter has now taken up this habit for lack of a beter word... Guess I will be following this thread since I just found out today from her mom...Sucks being this far apart....

 

Self-mutilation is characteristic of a number of diagnosable mental disorders.

When your friend has decided to finally get help, there are a lot of resources available from medical and psychiatric professionals that are very effective in redirecting the behavior.

Do not take their behavior as as personal insult, particularly when they don't quit at their urging. It's a disease, and a tough one at that. All mental and behavioral disorders are usually harder on friends/family than it is for the patient.

 

Maybe he is looking for advice like I am now.....just a thought