These are all GREAT You guys have really stepped to the challenge. Good job! *sniffle* I'm so proud*sniff* I think I'm gonna cry.

 

^^^ need a kleenex??? we just had a little lull in the action, like a writer's block..


sweetie, of course i'll love you afterwards... i'd NEVER say anything just to be with you....

dudes, i saw this trick on tv the other night... can't be that tough... now go set up the video camera... i'll climb up on the roof... there now--everyone ready??

mom, dad?? I have something to tell you... about the car..... i'm ok though...

guys, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to dry the weed out in a toaster oven.... someone open those windows NOW, before your folks come home!!!....... ( oh sure, I can laugh now... )

 

^^^Yeah please someone hand me one

"Mom, I know now why you make me were a helmet." (I was about 12)

"Mom, first, I'm alright..." (about 6 months later) I still have a scar on my eyebrow from this one.

 

"Hey guys, I just won a million dollars"

"Scott (MTcX)........i took your tC without asking.........insurance company says its totaled........oh yeah.........all your stereo equipment was stolen out of it at the junkyard too"

 

Hey, what's this stuff called? Lime Vodka? Hmmm, tastes just like Kool aid... think i'll have some more, and more, and more. ( kids always remember the rules of physics: what goes in green; comes out... )

 

these look like they should be connected, let me get em for ya........

hes just a puppy

 

did i ever drink bong water? no, why is it good? really? no kidding? ok, lemme try.....

look sweetie, just push and stop complaining... geez how hard can giving birth be?? wow, that wasn't a nice look you just gave me there... err, want some more ice chips???

what's that word he was trained to attack on???

wadda ya mean i'll go blind????? nooooooooo.......

 

ok so whats the safety word for tonight

(to a girl on the street) your not a cop, right?

 

need another battery? there's one up in that smoke detector...

 

wats a smoke detector, do i need one

 

I had a whole list of them, but I forgot it at work, prepare for tomorrow.

 

As promised:

Don't worry, I'm sure this 100 year old rope bridge in the middle of the jungle will hold me.

What's that burning smell?

I'll improvise something.

What do you mean the lube isn't for you?

Are you sure this is safe?
Yeah , the duct tape should hold. (These two work by themselves or together)

No, I'm not a brain surgen(sp), but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night!

I';ll take the big guy, with all those muscles he can't be that fast!

"Let's start with the little guy." (Lost Boys)

Why would I need insurance on my iPOD?

What?...Apple?, you want me to spend $100 on 100 shares in a fruit company, NO WAY. Beta Max, that's where the money is.

Oh yeah, I'm so sure, I'll bet your dollar against my R34-yeah the one I just got imported, that the Red Sox won't win the Worls Series.

 

Hold my beer and watch this.

 

look what i found down in the ditch, pretty little fella aint he

 

ok, so i have your beer.... now what..... holy crap.... hey that was cool... lemme try it now...

this was filmed using expertly trained drivers..... do not attempt this at home... blah blah blah. buckle up--this can't be that hard...

really honey, that was the best 60 seconds i've ever had....

me faking??? no way.....

you know, i was thinking.... next girl that smiles at me, i'm taking home..... wait, not that one, i meant starting now.... wait, i wasn't ready yet.... geez guys i mean it this time.... wait...

 

excuse me, mr 7521648, but i just dropped my soap, could you get it for me


officer look, i pay taxes, so in fact i am your boss..... so kindly take your hands off of me, and back off.....


oh crap-your parents are home early!! everyone hide the beer!!! oh wait; it's just the pizza guy...

 

Good job, some are really funny.




"this is the last one..."

"One more lap..."

"you have the keys...?"

"do not light that..."

Enjoy

 

this is chicken, right?

 

We won't need a fire extinguisher.

Do we have a fire extinguisher?

(about 2 hours after you borrow someones car) Hey man what's up...Why am I calling, Oh uhh, I was just wondering how good your insurance is?

Hey man, how long should I hold this M80 after I light-BOOM

 

overheard at:

a bar down south.. " Yeeee Haaaaa, Jeff Gordon is THE best driver ever!!"

a bar in Philly.. " Dallas Cowboys are America's team, baby!"

a bar in NY.. " screw the curse-- Red Sox all the way!!!"