"please don't kill me....."
(any horror movie)

 

"fellas, you know I wouldn't give up poker night for anything.... ever..."
"sweetie, you know it's my poker night; but ok, i'll go to the movies w/ you instead... i'm sure the guys will understand...."
"Guys, I can't, ummm, well, it's like this..... I really like'd to.. uh..... geez, I just can't...."

 

"5"....."4"....."3"....."2" what do you think this meBOOM!!!

"...Starring Pauly Shore, and "Weird" Al Yankovic"

 

boy, i'm still looking strong in my bracket... U-Conn going all the wa.... what honey? yeah, i know they're in OT, should be a piece of ca... what--they lost????

 

this thread has gotten really weak

 

All that bleeding is normal.

HEY, 4 Vicodine are nothin', gimmie the keys.

 

ok, what did you wanna talk about.. Your what!!! how did that happen!! I mean... of course i'm happy.....

 

I can smell the ocean
(from Navy SEALs)

 

I agree, it was going strong for a while, but it has started to drop off a little bit.

Think total, unreasonable confidence,
"Make it $20 and your on"
"OH yeah, I bet I can!"
"Hey y'all watch this."
"You guys wanna see somethin' cool."
"That gap isn't as big as it looks."
"We're higher up than we look, I promise"
"Hold my beer I wanna try something."
to a cop
"Didn't I see you get your a** kicked on "COPS" last night."
"I can reach my license, but you'll have to hold my beer."
"Wow, you must have been doing at least 120 to catch me like that."

Something that within 10 mins. the paramedics have been called, or someone hase been arrested......Or both.

 

walk up to a biker bar, kick the doors in; and standing there full of confidence ( & beer muscle of course ), shout out: " it's a great day..... for me to whoop somebody's ****"

leave a club at closing, staggering alone down the dark streets singing that old classic " i'm in the money..... i'm in the money.."

show up for an episode of "pinks", not understanding the concept of negotiations and game playing.... " yep--I said heads up.... I don't care what kind of car you brou... oh crap...."

 

GREAT GOOD JOB thats what I was hoping for

 

my fave guy line

"let me just put it in for a second then ill get the protection"

sorry its not famous last words but i love when a guy tries to use that

 

That works for sure
also, from wedding crashers
"Just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels." (said as fast as you can)

 

"I swear honey, she meant NOTHING to me"
"It would be in your best interest dear to grab the lube for this"
"Was that a cop we passed?"
"I promise babe, I'll delete these pictures tomorrow and NO ONE will EVER see them"
"Oh thats just my mom, try keeping your moans down"
"Just put your mom in a home honey, she isn't living here"

 

...and I'm spent.

 

No she wasn't better than you sweetie........ she was just different.

 

^ haha and ur freaking avatar scares the crap outta me

 

greatness.

 

aw, just shut up and get in the car... ( did I say that out loud?? oh crap i did )...err, i mean.... pleaz honey????

 

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome............with your sister?"
"I want a prenup"
"Honey I increased my life insurance today"
"I love you so much that I willed everything over to you if I die"
"Well how do you know that baby is even mine?"