She already has plans and so do i, but it was a nice suggestion. I'll figure it out as time goes on.

My parents would be for it, just a little worried more or less for the me being a dad thing, if it went that far at least. Which to be honest, they probably would be anyway.

 

like the one guy said, your gonna bond with the kid anyway, whether you and the mother wind up as friends, or actually a family, so after a little while, say 3 or 4 months take the kid out with you two for some fun, like the park or somethin, hell take em both to car shows lol

 

^^^^ i agree ^^^^

ofcourse, if she could turn back time, she'd make other choices, but sometimes you gotta live w/ them


who knows, she could be your wife one day


you'll never know until you take the chance

 

yea, its gonna happen no matter what. No matter how much I tried to keep myself seperated from my girls child he still grew on me whether I liked it or not...its human nature especially if you like kids. When she pulled the "You gotta spend more time with my son" card out, I sucked it up and took her and her son fishing...which actually turned out to be a really good time. Your gonna figure out whether or not this is something you want within the first month or so...so try to keep your distance and take it slow in the begining...I've got the firsthand experience with this and am still a bit tangled in it so if you want any advice or need to talk about it shoot me a pm bro

 

I'll be the one old guy to post in this thread. I notice you're 21. The next 10-15 years of your life can be the most awesome period of your existence.

The catch here is, I know it can be awesome without the kid. Then again, it might be better with. It's one of those things you have to weigh man. Consider what's best for you first, but you have to consider what's right for this kid too. A year or two, and you change your mind... that can be pretty severe on a child.

 

theres also one other thing that I forgot to mention...and thats the fact that the kid is a huge responsibility and unlike a relationship that doesnt involve kids, there will be a lot less freedom involved. Its hard to make plans to go out and do things because of the fact that shes gotta be home with the kid no matter what. I was only able to have my girl come over like 2 or 3 nights outta the week because that was when the father had the kid. Any other time, she wasnt able to come here, I would hafta go to her parents house which was kinda weak...just somethin to keep in mind

 

hey. OK. I stopped reading everyone elses posts because they don't KNOW... ya know? I've been a single Momma for almost 3 years. Well, I've had the same boyfriend now for about 10 months and we live together now.. SO I guess we can go with 2 years. I'm not a dirty girl or anything of that sorts (and if you want to know, his Dad came running, screaming and having a big ___ parade out of the closet and is now in a relationship with a wonderful man that I accept as part of my family.) My son is now 7. I will tell you this, I dated a guy for about 4 months, my son got VERY attached to him. When we broke up my son asked about him every day for months. When I started dating my current boyfriend there was a lot of friction. My son still has issues with him. Everyone has a different parenting style and I don't care if you want to be a "Father" figure or not, you're going to play the role. Don't be scared of it. I'm sure you'll even find yourself loving the child before you love the Mother. Just always make sure that you are fair and consistant. You don't want to wind up a year down the line getting really serious, possibly living together or what have you and have that little girl think that you're a wuss and that she can walk all over you. My boyfriend has from day 1 told my son what is and what is not acceptable behavior in his eyes and my son has learned that and respects him a WHOLE lot more because of it. I say go for it! Amanda sounds great. So what she's got a kid, big whoop. She's probably one of the most mature people you know now because of it. Love doesn't happen every day and if you've got a chance for it, I say go for it.

 

Thanks everyone!

We started dating last night, took her out to a contemporary exhibit at a museum and went to diner afterwards.

We have talked about things in terms of Caitlin (her daughter) and we both agree that will be the slowest moving part of the relationship. I told her i want to spend time with her i just don't want her to get too attached and it not work out, i get too attached, etc. She agreed and to date i havent hung out with Caitlin yet but next month im planning to take both of them to a Christmas light show.

I don't think i'm going to regret this regardless of what some may think.

Simplyscion - i realize that, the good thing about her position now at least is that because she lives at home, her parents are willing to watch her (at night, since she usually goods to bed around 9) and it gives her more time and freedom isnt lost as of now, once she moves back out i realize it will be lost, but i dont know. I dont think it would be that big of a deal. And thanks for the open advice thing, im sure ill need to ask you things at some point! haha

Shoultesy - thanks for giving input from a single moms point of view!! [=

 

whatever you decide hope it works out for you!

 

yea it all depends on u dude. me myself i couldn't picture myself being the "daddy" of someone elses child but hey thats just me. also i haven't encountered that situation before so i can't really rule it out.

well congrats to u and best of luck.

 

good luck! I'm sure everything will turn out well! :D