An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's waiting room. As
he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Hello sir, and what
are you seeing the doctor for today?"

There's something wrong with my d!ck," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come
into a crowded doctor's room and say things like that."

Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some
embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of
others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The
receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had
taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

I can't ____ out of it," the man replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

 

 

I like that one!

Here's one I heard a long time ago:

A little old man shuffles into the doctor's office to get his wife's test results. Upon seeing him enter, the nurse calls him to a back room. She say, "Mr. Smith, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. On the day your wife's tests were sent to the lab, the tests of another Mrs. Smith were there also. The lab has mixed them up and is not sure who's results belong to who. The bad part is, your wife either has alzheimer's disease or AIDS." Stunned, he responds, "Oh my! That's terrible. Can we re-test her to find out?" The nurse answers, "I'm afraid not. You see, those tests are extremely expensive and your insurance company will not pay for it again."
So he asks, "What do you suggest I do about this?" The nurse answers, "Well, you could always drive her to the outskirts of town and drop her off. If she finds her way back home, don't sleep with her."

 

matt wins

 

 

very funny and very good one

 

Good one Matt!