my girl left me because i wouldn't tell her i loved her. well, i didn't! i liked her, but that's it for now. we had only been going out for like 4 months so i'm not at all hurt, but i'm a little surprised at her reaction. i'm not exactly mr. affectionate, in fact, i can be a lump, but what the hell?! truth be told, she made me question my entire way of being.

if you've ever seen the dane cook special where he talks about women using guerilla warfare tactics against your mind? well, that's exactly what she did. she brought up all this crap against me and says i have trouble getting close to girls and all this other crap. now i'm here at work wondering if it might be true. i don't think so, but it wormed it's way into my brain and i keep thinking about it. ninja tactics suck.

it didn't help that i didn't fight for her though. i just sort of gave her the old "if you wanna go, then go" speech, but only because i didn't want to say something that wasn't true and lead her on. we had had a conversation once when she told me she loved me, and i told her to forget it because i didn't feel that way about her. in fact, i freaked out and kicked her out of my house because she tried turning a movie night into a hallmark moment. not gonna happen buddy. we made up and i explained myself but i guess she was still sore about it.

so yeah, she's gone and it doesn't bother me since i never really felt that deeply about her in the first place plus it's not like there isn't someone else in this big city i can meet, but she totally wrecked with the whole "you'll always be lonely" thing.

btw, i didn't know i was lonely, but according to her, not telling someone you love them when you don't feel that way is a sign of loneliness.

 

Ok, so you don't lead a girl down path you can't follow, and when confronted with it, you continue with the same line instead of changing gears for a little bootie? dude, you're just fine, and if she's like that after 4 mos, this was definitely a good thing.

 

Well, this isn't as easy as looking up some links for some ipod video cables, but honestly 4 months? All I can really say is it's better for you to be honest right now then to lie and string her along and make you life miserable later. I commend you for not taking the easy way out. As far the lonley comment, no one is truely lonely unless they make it that way, and no one truely wants to be lonely. Sounds rediculous but hey it's true.

 

ipod cables are easier than girls that's for sure. i just find it funny. not haha funny. you know what i mean.

 

lol, no pun intended. Yeah an ipod cable doesn't need you tell it you love it.

 

then you got dumped for a reason.

I'm an atheist, but I suscribe to good ole' king solomon's reason of "Don't date someone you wouldn't consider marrying."

It's not saying you have to love someone before you even date someone, but make it someone who you wouldn't rule out. Don't waste your time with someone because they're arm candy or because it's comfortable. If you're in it for sex, then just get with someone who's in it for sex to (which won't last long btw, one of you will change that mentality soon enough).

And are we talking about 4 months of dating once a week, or living together? Did one or both of you live with your parents and/or not have to work for a living?

Maturity and how you were raised make a huge impact on how you perceive love. I remember when i was 19, and told an ex girlfriend I loved her, she said "I'm only 18, I don't really know what love totally is." I told her that I felt sorry for her, because love is the first emotion we all (should) learn. Hate, jealousy, greed, those all should be learned late in life, if at all, but a properly raised child should know love before anything else.

 

come on pal. give me a break. to say that is ridiculous. she wasn't arm candy or just someone for me to nail, she was someone i liked, but i just wasn't ready to say "i love you." especially after only 4 months. to you it might not be a big deal, but personally, i take those 3 words very seriously. once you say them, you can't take it back. it becomes part of every conversation and all this nonsense that was just not worth dealing with that early into a relationship. besides, before you can consider marrying someone, you really have to know them, and i don't think 4 months is long enough to really know someone. that's still the honeymoon period so you have to be careful.

and no we didn't live together, we both work, and we come from normal families with normal problems. nothing strange or disturbing in the background. just some real random stuff on her part.

 

Then you guys aren't real, and/or aren't spending enough time together. You could know near everything about me if I laid it out for you in 1 single night. Being you two hadn't, says alot.

You're talking to someone with a kid, married for 5 years, been living together(which is the true test of a relationship) for 8. Me and my wife moved in together after knowing each other for 1 month. As uncoventional as it sounds, I say live together before you start with "i love you forever and want to marry you."

I'm guessing since you dodged the question, that means you or both of you live with mommy. Most people can't "grow up" when they live at home.

 

getting broken up with for no reason after 4 monts is better than getting broken up with after 4 years for a stupid reason

 

She sounds clingy, let her go...

In fact, don't let her come back, even if she tries. Move on.

Any chick who "needs" to hear 'I love you', especially after only a short time, has attatchment issues.

-THE DON

 

Im sorry but that Dane Cook thing makes me remember...

YOU JUST GOING TO EFFING SIT THERE AND EAT THOSE OODLES OF NOODLES

...WELL WHO BOUGHT THOSE OODLES OF EFFING NOODLES!!!!
I DID!!!

 

I want to do a "B and E"

 

seattledave, you're lucky enough to have found the right person for you and were smart enough to marry her. good for you. if it hadn't worked out, which is much more likely to happen to the rest of the universe, then you would have been singing a different tune. congrats. you won the relationship lottery.

as for dodging the question, i just didn't feel like answering it. but yeah, we both live with our parents. that explains it all!

bottom line, i'm not comfortable telling someone i love them after such a short time. that's something that has to be earned. i'm not saying i wouldn't do it ever, who knows, i might meet someone as perfect for me as you did, and i'll live happily ever after and all that jazz. but for this situation, it wasn't happening.

my whole point was i felt that she wanted me to tell her something that i didn't feel for her. it doesn't mean i didn't have romantic feelings for her, otherwise we wouldn't have even been together, but i thought it was a little excessive on her part to just book when i was being honest. i'd rather not lead someone on because it just makes things worse in the long run.

 

Jeez remind me to never express myself on this website

 

love is not about getting lucky.

it's not some made up "i found my soulmate...the one and only person in the universe meant for me...o, and i met them less than 5 miles from my house at the grocery store" ~yeah right

it's about being grown up, and actually wanting something, and being honest. If you don't know what love is, then your parents did a poor job rasing you. If you don't know your girlfriend very well after 4 months of dating, you're not being open with each other, or you're still checking out the field.

 

now my parents did a poor job raising me? ok dr. phil.

don't make assumptions about people or how they were raised. you don't even know me. this was a normal conversation until you started with the insults, so i'm just gonna ignore your posts from now on. if you wanna give me advice, don't. go back to your love filled world where everyone moves in together and it works out for the best every single time. and we should all know our partners completely in 1 night, because that's what happened to the amazing seattledave. who needs time to think things through? from now on, i'm moving in with every girl i meet. wish me luck!

ty-max, was your comment directed at me? i don't think i was bashing seattledaves opinion. i hope it didn't come across that way.

 

do u have friends?? cuz to post this on a forum is kinda sobby and weak.. grow some ***** and move on.. especiall after 4 months lol

 

my sister has been with her bf and living together for over 15 years now and they still don't want to get married

my other sister still with her currant bf for 9 years and each of 'em haves kids she has 2 kids and he has 3 kids... and theres no talks of getting married in there either... so i don't see wtf the problem is with doing that...

 

That's awesome. I'm a big advocate against marriage myself. If a girl is that concerned over 4 months, then yeah she's got attachment issues. Sounds like mommy and daddy coddled her too much. I like how girls always say never to let a man force or coerce you into sex. I say never let a woman force or coerce you into love or a binding contract.

 

The next time you see her - if you ever do - you will know if you made the right choice. You will either get a knot in your stomach or or I don't know maybe want to give her a hug and say you're sorry. The fact that you can't stop thinking about her means you did feel something for her. My last two GF's when we parted I didn't feel a thing - and I still like them both but that was because the one before them really hurt me. It can be different every time . . . part of growing up . . . if you didn't feel anything you would be dead inside.