So I had a dream last night. I was in love (or lust?) with some girl who was into modding her car, and we would be outside working on them together then inside doing other stuff together. It was great, and I don't have dreams like that ever. I couldn't remember her face but it doesn't really matter. I woke up feeling all weird about it because I have a fiance.

She is by far the last person in the world who would ever be into cars but I've been fine with that, and I love her more than anything in the world. We get along with amazingly well, but the one thing she doesn't understand is my switch from the office life M-F to my passion for being under the hood on the weekends. And while she is fine with it and enjoys me having a hobby, it made me think how much I would love for her to be under the hood with me.

But seriously, it was a good dream . I guess I'm just a bad fiance

 

meh, I have dreams about molesting my guy in the shop

Unfortunantly he gets too focused. Stupid jerk. We do work on our cars side by side in the shop (well theres usually a bay between us because ours are too low to get into a few of the bays) and every time I try to.... distract ... Erik he always brushes me off sad girlfriend. I guess I just have to learn to be more focused when playing with my car.

 

You know, you probably shouldn't be joined at the hip with your fiance. If you're spending 24-7 with a person, you're probably going to drive each other crazy at some point.

So long as you look forward to spending time with your fiance as much as you look forward to spending time with your car, then I think you're all good.

On the other hand - there's the "things you say about your car, but not your significant other" list.

 

I agree with him! Erik is the first boyfriend I've had that cares about cars at all, it's a little weird and it is nice... But I'm starting to get the "oh did your boyfriend install that for you crap" from people that don't know I've been doing this since before I could frickin drive and it drives me bonkers.

that being said, I do love working on my car with him and it's nice to have someone that understands and isn't threatened by a girl that knows her way around a wrench and likes to get dirty.

 

Why did I get the feeling that u were asking if it was ok for u to dream about another girl unlike adorian and etli who took it as you saying yr not a good fiancee cos u spend time on cars.....


maybe cos i'm jelous and I saw that first

 

Well, because your right. That's what I was leading towards...
We manage our time and relationship well, giving us plenty of opportunities to do our own things. I guess I just feel guilty for having a dream about a girl that wasn't my fiance, which I've never done before, and it made me wish she was a gear head like me.

 

What you just said proves (at least in my eyes) that yr sweet and caring and obviously have a lot of respect for yr fiancee. =) you did nothing wrong

as long as it doesn't turn into you dreaming of orgies every night hehe

 

I don't think you should feel bad, I agree with C that it is increadably sweet that you feel guilty. You love your fiance wouldn't do something like this to her if you had the choice yes?

That is what matters, I believe a healthy sexual appetite is normal anywhere and as long as you don't act on those dreams or have the desire to then your fiance is a lucky woman to have you.

 

Would I do something like this to her if I had the choice? Well, if she dressed like a female mechanic and learned about cars, I'm sure I would do a lot of things to her lol.

Thanks for making me feel better. I guess this will just remain a subconscious fantasy of mine . I just hope she doesn't get mad about my dream.

 

She shouldn't cos u don't remember the girl's face. It was a general face. Now if you dreamt of a specific girl then it would be diff.

 

Ha, well, I didn't remember the specifics of her face. But my fiance is American and I'm not, and she sometimes gets upset when my family (jokingly, I know) points out that she's not of the same background as me. So she sometimes asks if I wish she was. And I know the person in my dreams wasn't American.

But like you said, it wasn't anyone specific or anyone I've ever seen before. Probably just my mind putting things together randomly.

 

yup ;) no worries
and I understand where she's coming from with the background thing
unfortunately even now in 2007 inter racial mixing is viewed weirdly

 

dreams are an activity of your subconscious dealing with problems or desires that you have and you aren't responsible for what you do there, it is a dream. you don't have full cognisince and it isn't real.

just because you have a fiance doesn't mean that you are not completely turned off to every woman who isn't your fiance. you are always going to have attraction for other woman, now matter who your with your how much you love them. having desire for another woman isn't wrong, however giving into that desire (in reality, not in your dreams) is wrong.

sheesh, there have been so many nights where my gf has woken up all angry and upset because i cheated on her in her dream. and i am like, look, no matter what i do in your dreams, i am not responsible and i am not going to apologize for something you say i did in your subconsicous.

 

Well it's more my mom, who is old school and wanted her baby boy to marry an armenian girl, and I think my dad did too. Except the selection of armenians is almost non-existent here. But yeah I know what you mean .

 

Doh yeap yeap

I'm white italian/persian
I dated: bagladesh, iranian/french, brazilian and now american (but is actually indian)
So no white people.....and no one with my same religion/culture

it's so hard...and my bf's family wouldnt like me since i'm white and not indian

love sucks when u need to accomodate others eh

 

You're half persian? My Dad was persian/armenian but raised in India. My mom is completely armenian. Though I only learned armenian. And I look more italian than either.

At least there's someone else here who can feel my pain .

 

yey! pain buddy

 

come on... it was a dream. you had as much control over it as you do your heartbeat. and most dreams mean nothing. the ones that do are really freaky usually. like the ones were you dream about a fire, and you call your sister, and her house is going up. but those are few and far between. it's not wrong to think about things. it's healthy. you should really consider what it would be like to do what was in your dream if it bothered you that much. if that situation ever arose, what would you really do? how would you react. and don't post it on here. in a forum you have to 'do the right thing'. what does your heart tell you when you immerse your mind into that situation? you may need to work that out with your fiancee, or maybe, if it's not something that'll work out, you need to break it off, either with her or whatever drives you to want to have that 'car woman' in your life. i can't reccomend one way or the other, since i have no specifics of your relationship.(and please don't post any)

 

Wait- you seriously feel guilty about what you DREAMED!!!????? WTF?

I guess I didn't read the initial post correctly at all then. Jeez man. You haven't told her about the dream(s?) have you? I have no idea what kind of girl she is but there is absoluetely no way you have control of your subconcious - that's why it's called your subconcious.

As a guy, you're going to think of other girls constantly. Either conciously or unconciously.

Maybe you guys just need to start using outfits - put her in the full body racing suits or mechanics coveralls with the long zipper down the front.
*crickets chirping*
Just me then? Ok, nevermind.

You could at least teach your girl the basics of car maintenance, or at the very least, the emergency stuff. - How to change a tire, how to cool down an overheating car, how to get the car started in extremely cold weather, how to use jumper cables, maybe pack a roadside emergency kit for her.

 

why?
If she has no interest why force her become what she doesn't want to become