i don't know if this was directed at me or not, but if so...

i never said for him to force her into anything. my advice is sound. if he loves her for who she is, he won't want to change her. if he is unhappy with the situation, he should let her know how he feels. they can go from there. either they compromise on something they both agree is mutually enjoyable, or they move on. ignoring a problem is a mistake, though. especially this early in the game. if this is something that he feels strongly about and it festers inside him because he's suppressing it right now... well, the outcome will probably be ugly. it is better to have a full understanding of how each other feels before getting married. anything that can build resentment should be out in the open from the start. after all, is it so unheard of to acquiesce to a 'fantasy' that your love of your life has, once in a while? i know i've done it. and who knows... maybe she'll get into it because it's such a turn on for him.

the key to all of this is to ask and discuss things... not to deliver ultimatums and lay blame. keep it open and heartfelt and things will usually work out.

 

I was refering to what etli wrote ;)

 

oh... then forget everything i just said.

 

Since I've never dreamed of another girl since we've been together, yes I did feel guilty. And yes, I did tell her about it. She was fine with it and actually laughed it off, but I suppose it's my personality. I think there are more to dreams than just random subconcious.

And no, she doesn't really have a desire to learn about cars so I'm not going to force it on her. She has roadside assistance if she needs it. I guess maybe I'm in the minority...I don't think about other girls. That's how I knew I wanted to marry her.

 

You know those Geico (car insurance? which company) commercials where a guy's car is broken down in the middle of nowhere and two "Deliverance" looking fellas pull up to him and ask "trouble with your car, eh? heh heh heh". And then the next shot is of the car insurance guy looking beat to hell?

You're just looking out for your girl's safety. Of course, if she doesn't even want to pump her own gas, that's a different story. True, if she doesn't want to change, you can't change her (and I hope she knows, vice versa).

Yeah, I think you're going to need to talk to her, if you really think you need a gearhead girl to make you happy. And not just short-term "ooh, new / old comfortable relationship happy" but long-term "I made a good and proper choice in my lifetime decision and committment happy".

If you're really really anxious about it, I would suggest you do "pre-marriage" counseling. Since 1/2 of all marriages these days end in divorce, you might be better off getting all these dissatisfactions out in the open and finding out if they're a deal-breaker sooner rather than later.