ok not really a joke, but still very funny. Ok this is what happened to one of my friends the other week.

He works at a fast food restaurant and this 30ish year old lady comes to the counter to ask for a refill. Well, your not supposed to but he thinks to himself "what the hell who cares" and says to the lady, "sure, no problem. Just take your top off for me."

Needless to say the woman started screaming and yelling at him and called him a pervert and everything...she apparently had a misunderstanding. The funny thing is, he just wanted her to take the top off of the cup so he could get her a refill lol. true story

 

 

MARRIED FOR A NIGHT

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other
people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a
transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the
upperbunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet
to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's
pretend that we' re married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

 

 

 

these last two pages are hillarious and makes me uneasy about posting mine....but here it goes.

op 6 Smartass Answers

SMARTASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMARTASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."

SMARTASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMARTASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

SMARTASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "
Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a
death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-___ guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would
you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand

 

awww the last one

*tears*

 

thats was pretty bad

 

John came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his
friend Mark, and told him of his adventures. "I was out in the jungle,"
he said, "when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me.
Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me.
The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not
far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped,
and I got ahead a bit. The lion started gaining on me, and as he got
closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away,
and made towards it. As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on

top of me, when he slipped for a third time. With the very last bit of
strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion's face."

"That's some story there, John, I would have poop my pants."

"Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON...???"

 

x2

 

i remember the joke but forgot the punch line

 

Who is the most popular guy at a nude beach? The one that can carry 2 beers and 7 donuts at the same time.

Who is the most popular girl at a nude beach? The one that can eat 7 donuts in one bite.

 

^^ oh gawd

 

Hey Voodo ***** joke
you left quite a bit of un edited stuff in there

 

that was aq greattttttt JOKE!!!

 

@ the voodoo ***** joke!

 

ooops...haha...I tried.

 

....I want a voodoo *****.........

~Stephanie

 

^^ I was waiting for you

 

Hey! You can't deny it though!!! You want one too!!! Oh, and I already posted a joke on here, about a page or two back. The two firemen......I have tons more......mostly dirty though!!

~Stephanie