seriously its a true story. this kid was a straight dumaas. he was really serious when he asked too.

 

he must be a dumb blond

 

actually he was a redhead. lol

 

It's like the ex-airforce guys who tell us stories about sending a guy to the maintenance shack to get 50 yards of flightline, or sending a new guy out to get his ID-10-T form. ID10T.

 

stupid ginger nuts

 

mechanics here mess with the noobs all the time. when they drive by, they yell out "hey! the rear wheel is spinning!" if the guy gets out and looks at it, you are seriously in for it.

 

Blonde Mortician

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN!!!)

MR LUV

 

how the gas prices are affecting batman.........................

 

For the last company picnic, management had
decided that, due to liability issues, we
could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink
per person.

I was fired for ordering the cups.

 

 

X2!!!!

 

the big cup pic is a few years old but its still a great classic!!!

 

What's a black and white tC that hits the 1/4 in the low 12's? (drum-roll...) Panda Express !!!

 

Panda Express is so good

 

HA! Thats a good one. I bet you were eating it when you thought about it huh lol

 

I hope he wasn't eating his car.....:palmface:

 

Cancel your credit card before you die..........


Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00.




A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: ' Excuse me?'

Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'


Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member : 'No, I'm her great nephew.' ( Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )


After they get the fax :

Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank : 'That might help...'

Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'

Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery !'

Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???

 

^thats hilarious!!

will god be mad at her!! LOL

 

hilarious, but sad all the same. The last thing people need at times like that is someone being an idiot.

 

why did the robot cross the road?
because he was carbon-bonded to the chicken