Hey post your funny or your favorite tv/moive quotes.

Ill start mmmkay




Napolean Dynamite.

" Can you bring me my chapstick?
-No.
But my lips hurt real bad".

" You got like 3 feet of air that time".

 

Anchor Man

" I don't know how to put this...but... Im kind of a big deal".

 

space *****

Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major @$$hole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an @$$hole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. @$$hole, Major @$$hole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an @$$hole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip _______!
Dark Helmet: How many @$$holes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by @$$holes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, @$$holes!

nothing like copying and pasting :D

 

Eric : "It seems like bad things are always happening to me..like I have bad luck or something"

Red -"You don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass"

-That 70's Show

hehehehe

 

Office Space
Michael Bolton rapping:
"I've got my pistol pawn cocked, ready to lay shots nonstop until I see your monkey a$$ drop, and let your homies know who done it, 'cause when it comes to this gangsta **** you m0th3r____3r$ know who run it, (Uh) "

Bill Lumbergh:
"Mm, yeah."

Samir Naeenanaja:
"No, not again, I-- Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to god, one of these days, I-I-I-I just kick this piece of **** out the window."
Michael Bolton:
"You and me both, man. The thing is lucky I'm not armed."

I love that freakin movie! I think I could qoute the whole thing.

 

Blazing Saddles
-another Mel Brooks classic

Sheriff Bart:
"Where all the white women at?!"

Taggart:
"You use your tongue prettier 'n a $20 *****."

 

keep them comming hahaha

 

40 Year Old Virgin.

"Don't put the _____ on the pedastool."

 

From Rescue Me, season 1:

(About his picture in the calendar)

Tommy: You look like the Marlboro Man.

Sean: Really?

Tommy: Yeah. If the Marlboro Man smoked c*ck instead of cigarettes.

 

Grandma's Boy:
Alex - "What are you, like 8?"
Jeff - "Atleast I have my own bed."
Alex - "Your bed is a car."
Jeff - "Yeah, but its a f'in sweet car! My roommates said they would get me rims for Christmas, or a CB radio so I can talk to other car beds. That would be hot. I'd like a stereo. My sister said I should get an alarm."

Damn, I could go on forever...Love this movie!

 

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...

Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not.

Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original.


-Wayne's World

 

Super Troopers

'Mac': "You boys like Mexico? Whooo!"

Rabbit: "Oh look. A bar of soap."
Rod Farva: "Oh ****! I got you good, you f*cker!"

Thorny: "Alright. Who wants a mustache ride?"
German Woman: "I want one. I want one."
German Guy: "I do, I do."

Farva: "License and registration chicken-f*cker! (Imitates chicken squaking)"

 

Superbad

Fogell: "Gangsters. What's up, guys?"

Officer Slater: "McLovin in the f*ckin' house!"

Homeless Guy: "I want a ride! You hear me? You can't un-arrest me!"

Fogell: "We're finally gonna get our drinks on. Chicka, chicka, yeah."

 

Waynes World

Wayne: "Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries."

 

Tonight... You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4b5D21qOEg

I went with this route, as it would take way too long to type these.

 

Full Metal Jacket
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeX5HSBFooI
R. Lee Ermey as the DI

 

hand banana is the best one there is!!!

 

Family Guy-

Cleveland (as Mr. T) : I pity the fool!

Cleveland (normal voice): But I also suggest ways that he may better himself.

 

Friday

Mr. Jones: "I grab a dog....and I choke him! And I kick the **** out him, and all day long, my foot up a dog's a$$. Bang! Bang! Bang! up his a$$! That's my pleasure."

Mr. Jones: "Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes.

 

300

Persians: "Spartans, lower your weapons."

Spartans:" Persians, come and get them."


Persians: "Our army is so vast, our arrows will blot out the sun."

Spartan: "Then we will fight in the shade."