duck_dodgers_24_5 wrote:
don't fry bacon in the nude





who were you cooking bacon for?

 

I bet he cook his bacon.

 

 

bacon is good to eat with fried eggs on buttery toast

 

1. don't sneeze when you pee pee.
2. don't fart while taking a hot shower.

 

i 2nd that and i still do it and boy does it stink even worse

 

I just learned not to hit doors (or other inanimate objects) because they can lead to hand fractures...

I was just diagnosed with a 'boxers fracture'... friggin' sucks.

 

1. Have friends in high places...learned that very early
2. Don't burn your bridges
3. If you decide to punch someone, jab don't swing. My thumb never set right.
4. Always carry a salmon by the gills, even if it's bonked. Those teeth are sharp!

 

i try to live by these rules everyday....lol

 

haha gotta love a woman who smells like fish (eewww) those teeth are gnarly. its like looking in a dogs mouth, why the hell would fish need teeth like that? god has a sense of humor

 

i know this is dumb but, i've actually done this...

-NEVER touch your rotors after getting out from a long drive from work.(especially under a 100 degree weather) rofl...

 

^ lol
I've done that by accident before haha I was just trying to wipe down the inner part of my rims after parking it and the top of hand rubbed the rotor.....ouccchhh =(

 

Don't punch people in the face repeatedly across the street from the police station, it does not matter what they did.

 

yellow snow cones are not made from lemons...

 

eff thats man thats the best place to have sex!

 

I never said it wasnt a good place to have sex........it just sucks if you get caught.....lol

 

yea but hopefully you get caught by the hot (female) teacher then you tell her to join in :D

 

dave i heard about that happening to someone. i think she's getting 10 years w/o parole now.

 

You have no idea how true this is... and how glad I am that I can run 3 blocks faster than a bar bouncer can call the cops over

 

haha yea the teacher, but not the student