if he cared...he would make sure she wasnt there...

 

Ok....I have been in this situation. the bigger the person you are the better. Hey maybe you could even be friends with this person. There is no harm in her being there especially if the bf is not interested in her anymore. don't get me wrong it isn't a great situation to be put in, but embrase it and don't freak out.

 

Have him read this thread. Print it out and give it to him.

 

if you haven't watched Monster inlaw you need to befor you go. Kick the crap out of her that's what I would do. Look it is easy, his mom is trying to get the best of you do not let it affect you and at least he told you so you could be prepared even though it sucks.

My Mom is allot like that and if she thought someone was not good enough for me she would do the same thing. However our parents forget that they are not always around us and they do not get to be the jude and jury of who we are anymore and especially who we date. They may not like it but they have to live with it.

It will be fine you will see and at least if you are there you can observe what goes on and if there is any hokey pokey then Kick The CRAP out of her and the mother and storm out in a huff when you are done. A dramatic exit is always more effective anyways. I would start a food fight at dinner or something like that. And since my mother did this to me once before. I made it hell on her while I was there and trust me she did not do it ever again.

Go and have fun and think to yourself what horrible things you can do to her in the back of your head, you can have a little chuckle to yourself once and a while. But you are right not to let her win. Go enjoy yourself with your bf and remember that you have him for the rest of hte year while this is only one day.

 

Okay...here's some personal insight...

At one time in my life, I was the EX invited to christmas....

I also dated a boy for almost 5 years, bonded really well with the parents, we broke up, he started dating a new girl, but the parents still wanted me around. Difference being, if they ever wanted me to come over, I tried to make sure that the boy and his girl were not going to be there. When it came to Christmas presents, they would have me come over a couple days before, the ONE TIME I went to their house christmas morning, boy had left to pick up new girlfriend and I was gone before they came home.

I think the person who really needs to decide what their motives are is the Ex. Is she trying to cause problems for you and your man? Or is she just trying to stay connected to people whom have supported and loved her for years? Are his parents trying to play something funny? Who knows. Do they like as much or more than her? Who knows? You could ask. Ask his mom seriously if she has a problem with you.... there also is the fact that the two of you have not been dating a fraction of the time they were, they simply may know her better. Most times people gain loyalties for certain people, regardless of facts. One thing to remember is that you and your boyfriend are in this together, and no one else really knows what happens between you when you're alone. Its easy for parents to ASSUME someone was better for their kid than someone else, but they never see the whole picture. They may only remember the good things she did and not the crappy things that eventually led to them breaking up....

I hope that rant was kinda helpful...as the one time "other woman" my intentions were pure, and his parents were not to cause strife or troubles, but only to keep in contact with someone who had become at one time like family. And trust me...this connection also fades in time. I've been with Kanchi for sometime now, and his parents do not contact me anymore, they've moved on to their son's new girl as family...which is great.

 

Just to clarify ^ her old boyfrined's parents do not contact her as much, my parents call her all the time!

 

i say... tie them both up put apples in there mouths and cook and eat them both for x-mas dinner... solves a bunch of problems... x g/f is outta the pic, you wont have b/f trouble till you find a new one, and for desert you get to eat sweet sweet victory.

 

^^^Some one has isues^^^

 

So... how did it go??

 

Well I am late in reading this but I am curious as to how things went and what your decision was. I find it very inconsiderate of his Mother to invite her when she knows the two of you are a couple and that you are planning on being in attendance. Also, if your BF does not make things clear to his Mom and let her know that this is not acceptable then you might even want to go as far as re-thinking your relationship with him.

 

Update

So i went over Xmas eve and stayed the night. She showed up at about 11am and we were introduced I was very polite and said nice ot meet you. My bf and her barely exchanged more than 3 sentences the whole time. She got a lot of crap from teh family and seemed so unappreciative that it made me sick to watch her open to her cool digital camera and what not. Later on when the parents went to their house with her to open up stockings and my bf and i went over to go downstairs to his room to lay down I made sure to go into the room she was in and tell her it was nice to meet her. She turned to me and was very short and said it back. oh well my bf and i went downstairs and watched tv..umm ya thats it. :-X lol.

anyways i cried to him that i was afraid he was still in love with her and he got mad at me cuz the night before we had had the same talk and he said he didnt and wanted to be with me for the rest of his life but since i brought it up again he was ____ed cuz he hates that we argue over the same crap over and over and that i never trust him when he says he loves me. well its kinda hard to believe when the ex is still around. anyways...i hope she is not around next xmas cuz i may deck her in the face if she is going to be an ungrateful lil b*tch for the presents she got.

HIs mom must like me though cuz she got me my 80 dollar perfume and a very nice necklace. so i made out alright for only being around for a few months.

PS - WHEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A BOYFRIEND BREAKUP THAT MEANS YOURE BREAKING UP WITH THE FAMILY TOO SO END CONTACT WITH THEM. Thats how i feel personally.

Also i dont understand why she would have came. I would never ever go if my ex's parents invited me over. I would make up some excuse to come a few days before or after because there is a new gf and its her turn to bond with the family. blah!

anyways im emo today over crap in general! the boyfriend grew up not knowing how to deal with a girl when shes emotional since he has no sisters and his parents werent ever affectionate towards him.

 

Uhm, i resent that last comment. I have no sisters. And yet i can still deal with females that are emotional. its called duct tape.

 

I have sisters.....but they are much older....i agree with Racinkid13 on the duct take too....Just hold up the take....she quits talkin and cryin.....jk...glad it all went good....i would have decked her though!!!!

 

I wanted to deck her for not being appreciative of what she was given and for not being polite to me. I was very courteous to her. Blah whatever she musta had a good personality cuz look wise she had nothing going for her. :-X oops did i say that? lol

 

^^

 

sounds like a winner!!!

 

now that wasnt nice..............did you happen to notice a porkchop tied to her neck?

 

lol no she didnt cuz i think she ate it

 

ok im done being mean. it just makes me mad when someone is not thankful. she didnt even bring them a gift or anything. where as i plan to send thank you notes to the grandparents and what not.

 

well goodfor you and you should have decked her