Clokwerck

I think I just need to get this out there...

On Monday, I received a phone call telling me that my uncle had ended his life over the weekend, safe to say, I was shocked, and pretty upset, but I tell you now, nothing and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for what I was going to see over the next few days.

My uncle lived in Leavenworth so I needed to take a couple days off from work, no problem there. I figured that like Snohomish county, most of everything would have been taken care of by the time we had arrived there, only thing we would have left to to is collect his personal things, and then handle the paperwork and various other things you need to do when one passes on. No, not the case.

We arrived inside the condo on Tuesday afternoon, and I was shocked, horrified, and it is still really getting to me today.

Let me just make a note, never do I ever want to EVER clean parts of my own family member off of a wall and floor.....EVER.

Since Tuesday I have not been able to sleep well, eat well, or do anything very well. The image of that has been running through my head, over and over and over. And not just what was left, I wasn't there to see what happened, but what happened runs through my head as well. Being in the condo I could see him walking around in it for his last few hours, and seeing his personal belongings that he carried on his self from day to day did not help. His shoes, watch, glasses.

To top it all off, we are also now burdened with the debt he left behind. $15,000 dollars, I don't know what we are going to do.

So I apologize ahead of time if I seem distant, unresponsive, or just not myself and thank you to anyone who listens, it means a lot to me.

Thank you Pete for watching over my dogs while I was away, that means a lot to me, I don't trust many people inside my house without me there.

ProMark

Sorry to hear that, losing a loved one is always horrible. I also lost a relative recently. my aunt who was 61 yrs old died on 1/24/10 of stomach cancer. Its really hard to contemplate someone being there one second and gone the next. i feel your pain. Prayers go out to your family

Clokwerck

Thanks man, I appreciate it. I think I could have handled it better had it not been the situation it was, but since it was the way it was, and I had never seen that in person, I was pretty shocked.

shortbus_8

my prayers go out to you

ratcityrain

I'm sorry to hear that man - ya that is no way to see a close family member pass away and I would be in the same situation as you if it were to happen to me.

Stay strong if you can and we realize that family/life is more important than cars so make sure you take the time necessary to get through this rough time - we all here understand and are here to help if you need any.

Clokwerck

Thanks guys, I'm hangin in there just a little messed up right now ya know?

And Dave I still owe you a phone call, sorry about that.

Gmonroe80

Sorry to hear man, I'll be praying for you and your family

Clokwerck

Thank you

bbszero

iTrader: (6)

Damn Jason, that's terrible. Sorry you gotta go through all that. Keep your head up and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.

Clokwerck

Thanks Cliff, I really appreciate that man. It makes me so angry that he did what he did. There was not even a note, a reason, nothing. What was left was an arrest warrant for a DUI charge he didn't show up to, back taxes, a notification in the mail that if the property taxes were not taken care of, we would be sued for the condo itself which is one of the only things my dad has left from his side of the family, his brother sold everything that was any type of family heirloom or anything that was inside that place to buy drugs and alcohol. The condo is in a really bad state as well. The walls have all been stained yellow/orange/brown from the amount of pot and cigarette smoke that was in there, the hole in the wall left from the bullet (it went through 2 walls before lodging itself in a wall itself), and the carpet is trashed. I guess in the light of things this stuff isn't really the big deal, his life means more even with all of the faults. I miss him terribly, and I wish he would have told us what was going on, we could have helped...

robbiej

Sorry to hear, no one should have to go through that after losing a family member. You and your family are in your prayers.

brycewilkinson

SORRY

Kanchi

iTrader: (4)

Holy crap! Dude that is F-d up! Really? I guess I thought that they'd clean most of that up (biohazardous materials) before realeasing to the family...guess not. Well, if i were you guys i would talk to an accountant about what you can do about some of that debt and at leasr possibly help ease that burden...again, really sorry to hear this, I don't think anyone shoudl ever have to go through "cleaning up after another family member," I don't think anyone would be able to easily forget that. Take care of yourself dude, you've been through a lot.

KaneoheKoa

I'll be praying for you and your family.

goke186

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through in terms of what you've seen but my heart goes out to you and your family.

alienvictim

dude i didn't realize it was so bad. im really sorry you had to go through that.
need anything i'm like a crossed town!!!

BZinn1

Been through the same thing and yes it is horrid.......I am gonna suggest going to see a counselor right away.Those images can haunt you for a very long time.

I was 16 when a friend took her life while all of us were there at her house........an image that haunted me for many years.

I am sorry to hear of your loss......this world seems to have some huge burdens being placed on peoples minds and hearts this last few years.

Take care buddy and please see a counslor to talk about it as trust me once you get the words out the images haunt you so much less......

Brian

saddlesore

Been there-dun that.. not any kind of fun... chin up and put it behind ya. tomorrow is another day. & put your feelings into song.
btw.. how did the new demo go?

Adorian

I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss. Whatever county Leavenworth is in should be ashamed of themselves, I can not believe that. Again, I'm so so sorry.

Clokwerck

Hey everyone, thank you for everything! It has been really hard, but we are seeking counseling, we all need it, it's making day to day life a bit difficult right now. Sleeping is a bit of a challenge, and idle down time is not so great either. I had thought that the health department in Leavenworth would have come in and taken care of this but I guess there they don't do that. Too small of a town I guess? I have no idea. It looks like what is going to happen debt wise is we are going to repair the condo and then sell it. None of us can stand to be in it, and then we can pay the debts that he left behind.

Saddlesore, the demo is finished and it's on ITunes, Amazon, a few other music sites I don't know all of them off the top of my head. We are going to be working on the full length here soon as well, and hopefully be on tour this summer!

Again thanks everyone, I appreciate the kind words.