One afternoon on a really lazy Saturday about a month ago my wife decided she wanted to drive the Box to run her errands. I was at home doing my usual nothing, still in my pajamas, so I tossed her the keys and said, "Have fun!"

She goes out to the car, gets situated and drives off. I had no sooner sat back down at the upstairs computer when I got a frantic call from her.

"I'm in the driveway. Your car started making this beeping sound which got faster and faster!" She's thinking she blew something up, or was driving with the parking brake on (her Pilot beeps if you leave the brake on while driving) but she can't figure out where the sound is coming from. "It sounded like it was coming from the dashboard."

I put a jacket on and go out to the car. It's *freezing* outside, so I really don't want to spend much time out there.

"Let me drive the beeping car around the block and see if I can get it to beep again." Off I go in my flannel pajama pants, slippers, Manchurian Candidate sweatshirt and leather bomber jacket, down the road in my BCP Box, trying my damnedest to get the thing to beep at me.

No dice. I pitch the car through turns with gusto. I pull the parking brake one notch and accelerate. I brake hard. I do anything I can think of to try and upset the balance of the car, but there's no beeping. I crank the stereo up, but doubt that will do anything other than make my ears bleed. Nothing. No beeps.

By the time I get back, shaking my head to the negative, she's standing in the garage with a dumbfounded look on her face. I root around in the glovebox, get the owner's manual out, start reading it and roll down the window to talk to her. Did I mention it was freezing out?

"What were you doing when the beeping happened?"

"Driving."

"No crap? Duh. OK. Did you have the brake on?"

"Not that I know of. The beeping brake light wasn't on."

I go through all the things I can think of with her. She's dancing in the cold and finally says, "Can I get in the beeping car? It's frickin' freezing out here."

"Sure."

We talk about it. The car doesn't beep any more while I'm sitting out there. I go inside and she leaves to run her errands. She has no beeping problems the rest of the day. I have no issues with the beeping car when I make my daily drive to and from work.

Fast forward a couple of weeks or so. I'm on the way home from running out to work on a Sunday. It's about 3ish in the afternoon, and I'm toodling through the construction zone on the interstate near my house when this beeping starts. It starts out slow, but then gets beeping insistent. I'm trying to locate the source of the sound. The beep is starting to sound like the countdown to a bomb going off.

Picture this balding, slightly overweight, middle-aged, bearded white guy desperately trying to maintain speed on the interstate in a busy construction zone while trying desperately to locate the source of a beeping sound in the dashboard area. I'm doing everything but unbuckling and climbing into the passenger seat.

Opening the glovebox. Opening the box under the radio. It sounds like it's coming from the middle of the dash, or somewhere under the dash. I can't pull off of the road because there's no shoulder. All the while the beeping is getting faster and faster. I'm afraid the next thing I'll hear is, "This Scion will self-destruct in 5 seconds."

I'm desperately trying to get to an exit so that I can stop the car and figure out the problem.

Then the beeping stops. It doesn't slow down. It just *stops.* Nothing. No hint of sound. Nada. By this time I'm at my exit, so I head on home in a hurry.

As I'm driving up the hill that separates my road from the main highway it dawns on me. I know what it is, and boy don't I feel like a dumbazz. I get home, unlock all the doors and open the passenger side door. I look around in the floorboard and glove box. Then I reach under the seat.

My frickin' alarm clock from work is under the seat. I had put it in the Box so that I could take it home and put some pictures in its frames. It had been going off every day at 3:16, but I'm rarely in the car at that time.

Moral of the story? There isn't one. I'm just a dumbazz.

 

Hahaha, good story dude! I can totally see me writing
something just like that!

Except I'm not balding.

 

a story that finally kept me interested....haha.

 

that was a pretty good story.

 

good story!

hope you didnt tell your wife about the clock

 

...nice!!hhahahahaha

 

those alarm clocks will get you everytime!!

 

That's a good one. A friend of mine left their cellphone in my car once. They had it set on some strange ring. It confused the hell out of me for a good 10 minutes when I couldn't figure out why my car was making that noise.

 

yeah i could see me doing that, good stuff

 

Too funny!

 

Can someone say, "INSTANT CLASSIC?"

 

this is the funnyes thing i have read in a long long long time.......!!!!!! nice story......

 

you're gonna get me fired...

i can't be laughing this hard at work

 

You didn't recognize the alarm sound?

I have my cellphone as my alarm clock. The alarm sound is the T-Mobile chime. Everytime I hear it as someone's ringtone or on a T-Mobile commercial, my heart skips a beat.

 

nah. It's one of those generic Casio watch type beeps. It sounded like something you'd hear in "Rambo XXIV - Geriatric Special Forces Timebomb." I don't usually use the alarm clock at work. It's more a way to inconspicuously check what time it is without looking at my watch or wall clock when I'm talking to special investigators .

I'll have everybody know that you're the first that got to read it. I emailed it to my wife after I posted it here and she made sure everybody in her email circle got a copy because she thought it was so funny. It's spreading through their email lists now. What have I done?

 

Why do you need an alarm clock at "work"

Sure would be nice if I could nap at work.... Oh, wait I do, Nevermind...

 

Dude that was just an alarm to let you know the toast was done!

Excellent Story

 

That was a great story.

 

The whole time I was reading the story, all I could think about was the stability control warning beeper going off. (I love making mine go off on the snowy roads.) And all I was thinking was "his wife must be putting the box through some hell corners", and if it was my wife, she'd never drive it again.

But then I read on..................

 

IMFAO hahahaha that was the funniest thing i have heard in a while, about the balding and not balding thing,...... hahahaha