Men Are Just Happier People
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Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 13,961
Men Are Just Happier People
got this in my email...
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the ti me . Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If so me one forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" you r nails with a pocket knife You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the ti me . Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If so me one forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" you r nails with a pocket knife You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,533
From: Mountain View, CA
Ooh - don't forget;
"Entire conversations of monosyllabic grunting noises"
Erg
Arhh
Eh?
Eh....
Eeeegghhh
Hmmm.
Hm!
Translation;
"Hey guys how's it goin"
"Ok, not much, what's up with you?"
"Nothing, well there's this problem I got. What do ya think?"
"Really? please enlighten us"
"Turns out my girlfriend's mother is smokin hot!"
"Ah, the old MILF dilema. As per standard guy procedure, try to get em both."
"Ah! of course, thanks for the reminder."
"Entire conversations of monosyllabic grunting noises"
Erg
Arhh
Eh?
Eh....
Eeeegghhh
Hmmm.
Hm!
Translation;
"Hey guys how's it goin"
"Ok, not much, what's up with you?"
"Nothing, well there's this problem I got. What do ya think?"
"Really? please enlighten us"
"Turns out my girlfriend's mother is smokin hot!"
"Ah, the old MILF dilema. As per standard guy procedure, try to get em both."
"Ah! of course, thanks for the reminder."
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,353
From: 'Burbs Farmington Hills - go to school in Boulder, CO
Originally Posted by etli
Ooh - don't forget;
"Entire conversations of monosyllabic grunting noises"
Erg
Arhh
Eh?
Eh....
Eeeegghhh
Hmmm.
Hm!
Translation;
"Hey guys how's it goin"
"Ok, not much, what's up with you?"
"Nothing, well there's this problem I got. What do ya think?"
"Really? please enlighten us"
"Turns out my girlfriend's mother is smokin hot!"
"Ah, the old MILF dilema. As per standard guy procedure, try to get em both."
"Ah! of course, thanks for the reminder."
"Entire conversations of monosyllabic grunting noises"
Erg
Arhh
Eh?
Eh....
Eeeegghhh
Hmmm.
Hm!
Translation;
"Hey guys how's it goin"
"Ok, not much, what's up with you?"
"Nothing, well there's this problem I got. What do ya think?"
"Really? please enlighten us"
"Turns out my girlfriend's mother is smokin hot!"
"Ah, the old MILF dilema. As per standard guy procedure, try to get em both."
"Ah! of course, thanks for the reminder."
true dat!
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