Okay so there is this girl that i have been talking to for a little over a month now and i met her at her work she works at a strip i know what everyone thinks about that but I see her more than just what she does i see her as a person so she had a ring on her finger and she stated her ex fiancee gave it to her now when i go in her work the ring is off no matter what day i surprise her i have brought her gifts and such and she says no one has ever gone that far to show that they care how ever i gave her my number and she will only email me or text my phone from instant messenger because she is scared that she will get threating phone calls well a week or so ago i went and saw her twice in one week and she totally flip and was like OMG i miss you so much this that and the other and so i got some alone time with her and she became very lovey dovey with me and she told me on a scale of 1-10 im a 8 or 9 and she is falling for me. but i dont see how that is possible to fall for someone when you have not went out outside of work. However she does email me when she can and she wants me to come see her every week her friend say she likes me but i just want to get your opinion on things
BTW i have her friends number and she got so jealous that I talk to her as friends as well as i asked her if someone ask me if i single what do i say and she said tell them you are talking to someone
What do you think ladies
I have tried to get her to do something outside of work but she says she still is not comfertable with doing that and she told me that she doesnt want me to think that she is using me she just wants to get to know me more she also stated it does take sometime before she goes out with someone but she said she is only and will be only talking to me and her friend says that she will not stop talking about me and how she likes me
we talk via email because of her life right now and the fact that she is really really scared to get hurt she emailed me saying that she was going to come up to my city to see last week but never made it due to the snow storm we had i went into her work and she was so happy to see me but i was in a bad mood and i brushed it off on her by mistake i went in on saturday and seen her and she was in a bad mood well i told her that i am willing to wait to make things work and that i was protecting myself and her from hurting each other i asked her what was wrong and i said i dont mean to poke in your personal life but was it your ex fiancee and she said yes but then was like look at me in the eye and she held my hand and said i am not with him and will not be i dont want anything to do with him i really like you. so is it possible to fall for someone even though you have not when on the first date and what can i say to her to get her to hang out with me so i can show her that im not some killer or a person to hurt. i have tried everything i can think of and her friend that works with her told me just to play it cool and not ask anymore and she will come out when she is ready
she told me that she was falling for me like there is times where we will go sit somewhere at her work and its like that is the only time we share our feelings about each other i have not told her i was falling she told me but i am just scared that i am going to get her or she is with someone else but she had a ring from her ex fiancee and i seen it on her hand and confronted her about it and she has never wore it sence. so what do i say or do to make her feel comfertable to go with me somewhere out side of her work

IS she using me????

Sorry for the grammar issues I had to copy and paste.

 

let's use punctuation. please

 

Sorry. I am at work and I had to copy and paste that from another source.

 

i saw just.. 5 periods in that whole post..

dude... we can't read her mind. you need to make the judgment call.
however, you need to give it time and space..

and you cut and paste? from another source? great...

 

I was sending a instant message to a friend here at my work. Sorry again.

 

sorry, but a big blob of text isn't something that most people would normally want to even look at..

if you expect any help, you gonna make it a little easier to look thru.
and could you not wait until you got out of work to post this?

this only displays how possibly psychotic you are about this situation. take a damn breath and slow down... stop and smell the roses.

you're thinking too much.

 

I dont have the internet at home. Its just I have been hurt over and over so bad its unreal. I am just so scared.

 

*sigh*.. the paths that we walk in life..

play it safe and don't get your hopes up too much... i'd have to agree with her friend... just play it cool for now..

when she's ready.. she's ready..

 

nope its her personality. Is like that the best for the job. do not step a foot in the door ask her to meet you for coffee . If she truly likes you she will follow. not the best advice but for a 20 year old it will do. Looking for love stay away from the club. it like the casino its built on the fact you give them money . Not a good place for a true symbiotic relationship. Not my advice just something i pick up the last 5 years may it help you

 

Thank you sir. Its just when we are alone at her work it seems real. At the same time I dont want fall for someone who doesnt like me for me. When she told me she was falling for me all I did was smile. But I will just play it cool thank you.

 

Yeah I understand. We email back and forth and she did state she wanted to make a trip up to my city to see me but she could not due to some problems she encountered.

 

Sorry, I'm not even going to attempt to read that. It makes my head hurt.

You'll figure it out.

 

yea..

they sometimes do what they do.. just to keep you coming back.. to spend more money..
them being super friendly.. is part of their job..

you may be able to establish a relationship of sorts... but as far as a real connection? that just depends on too many variables.

the moment you two can actually meet outside her work.. is where and when you'll figure it out.

 

parol officer? sorry i know the ending. to skip the hard part go as a friend show her that you not looking to change her life take her away or bail her out of trouble she hears that every night i bet go as a friend , you seem to know the time will be a factor but try learning more from her hopes and dreams and anything in general, she will adapt to you as long as show a strong supporting back round , hope that helps

 

streetracer99x, are you paying for this "alone time"?

 

screw this story. i aint gonna read without proper grammar.

 

yes and no I do some times but other times I dont she understands the money deal and if I can do something that night cool if not she makes it work

 

Why would she wear her ring from her ex fiancee anyways?
And it's a little creepy that you drive to see her at her work. Why would you want to be with a stripper anyways?

She's using you, just drop it, or tell her that you feel a connection and that unless she comes and visits you, you feel shes using you (which she is).
Why would someone not text someone they actually care about and are falling for (like her friend said...)

If you are really a 9 like she said, go find another girl, shouldn't be too hard. So you go to visit her... she strips for you (which she does for every man in there)... you pay her... and she says she wants you to come back. Sounds like every stripper does.

 

Yeah its just not that easy.... I know everything about this chic when I dont come she gets upset and her friends call me and tell me to come into the club. I know alot about her. She told me she is getting a different number and when she does I will get it...

 

understand that her job is to keep you coming back. Clubs can be fun entertainment, but they are performers, they are actresses who make it seem as you get special attention. If sometimes you don't pay for a dance, she knows you'll be back. Repeat business is better than a one time high roller.

You're falling for an image, you do not know her outside of work, only the character she's showing you (and other clients). If she was serious, she'd already be willing to meet, at least in a public place for coffee or lunch outside of work.

Move on, and find someone you can interact with outside of their work setting. Strippers are people too, and they do have a life outside of the club. If they're not volunteering to share that life with you, they aren't interested.

Her friends calling to get you to see her is another tactic to get you back and spend money. Is there a cover at the club, do they charge for drinks or food? Everytime they get you to come in, that's more business for them. If she was worried about you, wouldn't she attempt some sort of interaction outside of work?