Is it ok to spanks kids? Would you? Did You? Were You?

 

lol, what a thread... I thought there might be something kinky in here...
Anyhow, sure, you gotta be able to discipline a kid, and it is more for a shock factor than actually hitting a kid hard...

 

whoa... so thought this was going in a different direction....

i dont think i would... i was never spanked growing up... i came out ok... never did anything wrong or illegal...

 

Yes, assuming your folks were 'decent people' heh.

Sometimes I look at people though and think:

"Damn, Yo Momma Should've spanked ur azz when you were a kid" heh ;p

 

sometimes i think parents should be the ones to get spanked...
or neutered

 

I don't see what the problem with spanking is. I was spanked a child... but I would not spank my kids to the extent that I was spanked. I have been spanked to where every color you could imagine was on the back of my knees all the way up to the middle of my back. I couldn't sit without grimmacing for days.

You might think that because I was spanked so harshly, I would be extremely against it. But it did teach me a lesson. I think spankings are fine - to an extent. Spanking with your hands, you bet. Spanking with a leather belt stamped with metal tabs, def not. Spanking with a twig - sure, let the kid pick it out. But don't go overboard - if you can't control going overboard, the maybe you should choose some other method.

I am, however, against someone else spanking your kids. Parents or legal guardians should be the one to do it... no one else.

But I also believe that there are better forms of punishment. I personally opt to do the self punishment method. If a kid messes up, he/she is going to be doing some pushups, situps, standing in a corner, holding buckets of water, etc... What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and the pain teaches well. But pain that you caused upon yourself teaches better than any other form of punishment (IMO).

LoL... I do agree with that.

 

regardless of the form of punishment... it better go along with explaination of WHY they are getting punished... other wise... you make your kid do physical methods... like pushups or buckets... if you have a kid with no understanding of why they are getting punished... you best believe you will have a teacher, social worker or general nosey busybody calling the cops on you for abuse...

 

I completely agree with that!!! My pops smack me a few times and as I grew up, he didnt have to.....It was more fear...not physical fear but the fear of letting him down and dissapointing him.

I will spank my children when i have them, Where...anywhere they act up and need a good spanking....and if any tree hugging hippies step in the way and tell me I shouldnt, they will get one too! I cant stand to go some where and see two parents yelling at their kids because their kids are screaming because they are not getting something they want. .....So now you have Kids Screaming..parents yeliing.."You want a Time Out?" When a simple smack on the bottom will shut'em up...then the kids will only have that silent cry....Aw peace and quiet

 

Yes, kids should be spanked. But NEVER out of anger. You don't just loose your temper and start beating on a kid. My son is a little too old (and big) to spank now, but he had his share when he was younger. He only ever got spanked for serious things like doing something bad after he was already told not too or being disrespectful. I always waited until I was calm first. I would explain to him why he was getting spanked and he knew that I love him. It wasn't fun (I hated it) but it always worked. When done properly, it rarely needs to be done. I found that a ping-pong paddle worked great! My son is well-behaved and respectful, and he wasn't "damaged" like the pansy-@ssed psychologists say kids will be if you spank them.

 

 

I am coming across this issue myself with my girlfriend and her son. He's 4 yrs old and has been pretty out of control lately with talking back and acting out at daycare with hitting and bighting.

A few days ago we implemented spanking and so far its been a little better. I don't spank him though, she spanks him and I'll slap his hand if he's around me and isn't listening or talks back. I told my gf that part of the spanking thing is the control you're showing them and the humiliation, so i told her she needs to have him pull his pants down and bend over when she does it which he understands hurts more.

I am not in the room when she does this being that I am not the boys father and want him to respect his mom more than me. He has an issue will respecting woman more than men though, he'll listen to me or one of his male day care people better than the female day care worker or his mom.

Any suggestions?

 

Well sure. I was just talking about the form of punishment. I totally agree that a kid should know why he/she is being punished. There are several methods to this as well... I think that telling a kid that they did something wrong, then making them think about it and maybe write an appology (depending on severity) would be a good method.

One thing that I failed to mention is that I would not physically punish my kids unless it was a repeated offense - one in which they KNEW it was wrong to do. Tell them that it was wrong, tell them why... if they do it again, punish them. Each time after that, the punishment gets more harsh... 25 pushups the first time. 50 the second and so on...

 

Much respect goes out to you for dating a girl with kids.....Ive dated 3 before with kids and man is it hard!

The only Problem I see is that he is respecting Men more because they are not the ones punishing him. As you become more involved with this women and her child, you will need to form your own type of punishment. I know its hard not being the boys father, but there needs to be some balance so that he knows that he cannot run to a you when his mother spanks him

 

Consistency is the key, in whatever you do with your kids. Too often parents ignore a behavior for 10 min or longer, and then snap. *wrong*

I would like to adopt some, shall we say "creative" measures, but I'd be too worried about some busy body neighbor that I'd later have to hide their body, I'd be aprehensive. A popular thing in Asian and Latin cultures is kneeling. I've been told that could be construed as "child abuse", so I'm throwing that one out. Push ups and laps will be used for sure tho.

My favorite creative punishments revolve around repetitive and mundane tasks. Take a pile of rocks, and decoratively place them in your back yard. When junior acts out, he/she then has to take the pile of rocks, and move them one at a time accros the yard.

 

That could backfire on you. Enough pushups and he might be able to take you!

 

[quote="Amoxapine"]
damn 50 push-ups, ____ lots of us couldn't do it after so much junk food. buahahaha

 

I have to say that I like your thinking in the sense that you leave the room when he gets spanked and you don't spank him yourself. I believe this is very good.

Just like you don't spank your kids when you are angry, you should not spank them to humiliate them either. Spanking in the presence of others will do nothing but create either a shy humiliated child or a child that lashes out.

My step-dad spanked me once for a time that I REALLY deserved it, and he hated it... I know for a fact that he did because he threw up afterwards he was so sick to his stomach.

I am not a psychologist (pansy@$$ or not), so I am not the one to listen to leagally, but I think you are doing a good job. She should be the one to punish him, not you. Maybe circumstances will change if/when you are married... but judge that when the time comes.

Nicely said. I believe this as well...

And as far as the pushups go... if your kid can take you out because he did 50 push ups, maybe you could lessen the severity.... or do some pushups yourself.

I found that I would learn a lesson and repsect the one who was giving the lesson if he would do the punishment with me. You can do some pushups with your kids... show them that you are not just punishing them to punish them... but rather to make them stronger and learn.

scionofPCFL said it right with "creative punishments".

 

I'm kinda glad I didn't use the exercise thing as a punishment. My son and I enjoy working out together. I'm not sure he'd feel that way if it was used as a punishment when he ws little. I dunno, maybe....he still likes ping-pong.

 

When kids get older (around 7-9), they'll start making evaluations, "if I do this and get caught, then I'll get _____ for punishment." If it's easy for them to fill in the blank, then they can decide whether or not the punishment is worth it to get the fun out of doing something they were told not to do.

If they can't fill that blank in cause dad has something new everytime, and might just happen to be a bit of a psychopath, well then they are a lot less likely to do what they aren't supposed to do.

 

HA! I thought the SAME thing.... lol!