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Old Aug 9, 2007 | 08:06 PM
  #81  
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Originally Posted by TougetC
nice, i was sure that i was the only one to remember that "North Shore" quote. i dont know ^^ that one but heres another:

"i can believe my grandma drank all my pot."
"can you get some more?"
"easy pothead, i'll get you yer fix."
Grandma's Boy. There are some great quotes in that one.

One of my favorites:

"Your bed's a car."
"Yeah, but it's a f**king sweet car."

This isn't from a movie but....

"'This is your brain.' I've seen a lot of weird sh*t on drugs. I have never ever ever ever EVER looked at a f**king egg and thought it was a brain. Now, maybe I wasn't getting good sh*t..."
Old Aug 11, 2007 | 04:23 AM
  #82  
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^^is that from Dane Cook?
Old Aug 11, 2007 | 07:07 AM
  #83  
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Or Denis Leary?
Old Aug 12, 2007 | 09:17 PM
  #84  
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Originally Posted by BangorXB
one of my favorites:

Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!
Planes, Trains and Automobiles!

How about:

Brick Tamland: Excuse me, Veronica?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick Tamland: That's it.
Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
Brick Tamland: No. Yes. He did.
Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Ian: No, Brick.

Same movie:

Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

Old Aug 13, 2007 | 06:19 AM
  #85  
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anchorman
Old Aug 13, 2007 | 05:26 PM
  #86  
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Originally Posted by kloquewerk
^^is that from Dane Cook?
Originally Posted by 13edge
Or Denis Leary?
Nope. He is no longer with us. Tool fans should know one of his best quotes:

"If you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, then go home and burn all your records, all your tapes, and all your CDs because every one of those artists who have made brilliant music and enhanced your lives? RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrEAL f***ing high on drugs."
Old Aug 13, 2007 | 06:36 PM
  #87  
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Mitch Hedberg? Loved him...
Old Aug 13, 2007 | 06:49 PM
  #88  
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Bill Hicks
Old Aug 13, 2007 | 07:43 PM
  #89  
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^^Yep. Bill Hicks.
Old Aug 13, 2007 | 07:48 PM
  #90  
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"I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings. All of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord? My *ss. Nyah, haha, haha, haha, ENOUGH!"




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