the official scionlife joke thread!!! post 'em here
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Fail, INC
TOCC
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,052
From: Ico, Arkansas
wow... thats pretty big, yo momma is so fat, when she goes to the beach the save the whale freaks try to throw her back into the ocean
unless shes in oregon, then they try to blow her off the beach with several hundred pounds of TNT
unless shes in oregon, then they try to blow her off the beach with several hundred pounds of TNT
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 355
super man was flying over the city one day looking for crime and suddenly saw wonder woman masterbating on a rooftop super man stopped and thought, "man im faster than a speeding bullet i could go down there do my business and be out before she knows what hit her" he decides to go for it and in one quick swift hes down in out and on his way back to his lair. wonder woman says WTF was that? The invisisible man replies man i dont kno but my butt hurts like hell!
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Joined: Oct 2005
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From: Guam, 14.8N, 145.6E
Tiger Woods just finished the European Tour.
His sponser gave him the ultimate Car you can get from Germany.
It was a new prototype BMW that was not marketed out yet and Tiger Woods get to drive it for the first time.
So Tiger takes it out for a spin out to the the mid country.
After travling about 30 miles away He stops by at an old Gas station for gas.
This ones was very old looking with just two old fashion pumps.
It was a very old looking gas station.
The Gas attendant was from Ireland, a very old geezer.
As tiger woods get out of the car, a pair of tees fall of his pocket.
The old geezer was curious, not knowing about golf ask Tiger what are those things.
Tiger explained, "These are my tees. I use them to hold my ***** while I'm Driving".
The Old geezer looked shocked and said "Man, those new BMW comes up with something new everyday".
His sponser gave him the ultimate Car you can get from Germany.
It was a new prototype BMW that was not marketed out yet and Tiger Woods get to drive it for the first time.
So Tiger takes it out for a spin out to the the mid country.
After travling about 30 miles away He stops by at an old Gas station for gas.
This ones was very old looking with just two old fashion pumps.
It was a very old looking gas station.
The Gas attendant was from Ireland, a very old geezer.
As tiger woods get out of the car, a pair of tees fall of his pocket.
The old geezer was curious, not knowing about golf ask Tiger what are those things.
Tiger explained, "These are my tees. I use them to hold my ***** while I'm Driving".
The Old geezer looked shocked and said "Man, those new BMW comes up with something new everyday".
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 451
From: Grand Rapids, MI
An elderly couple were sitting in church listening to the sermon. The lady says to her husband, "I just let a silent fart...what should I do?" The husband says, "Well, first of all, change the battery in your hearing aid..."
omg lol!
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 451
From: Grand Rapids, MI
The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice ****!!! Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice ****!!! Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 761
From: Coke-a-Cola, SC
This was on the main page of ebaums this morning...hella funny!
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "____. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on."
She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob." She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE *****.
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "____. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on."
She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob." She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE *****.
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?
