the official scionlife joke thread!!! post 'em here
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Team XcelsiA
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,570
From: 2002 Day Member (8-6-11)
Originally Posted by ryukenden
someone should go up to a random girl they do not know and tell this joke lol!
Originally Posted by Tito_Cruz
oh...and could you video tape it? I'd like to see the reaction...haha...j/k.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 168
From: Mt Clemens
a father and son sit down to have "the talk". The father explains "Love", Sex and ************.The father warns his son that love can hurt, sex can get you in trouble, and that ************ can cause blindness if done to much. The son looks over at his dad, waves and says " Dad! Im over here!"
we got a bleeder!
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Revolt Imports
DeepSouth Scions
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 901
From: BRLA
Originally Posted by jwaj2002
yea that one sucked
three blondes trapped on an island, they trip over a bottle and out pops a genie he says "I'll grant each of you one wish" first blonde says "I wish I were 10 times smarter" poof she turns into a redhead builds a raft paddles off the island
second blonde says "I wish I were 50 times smarter" poof turns her into a brunette she builds a sailboat sails off the island
third blonde looks at the first two, thinks for a few days and says "I wish I were a million times smarter then both of them combined" poof turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge
three blondes trapped on an island, they trip over a bottle and out pops a genie he says "I'll grant each of you one wish" first blonde says "I wish I were 10 times smarter" poof she turns into a redhead builds a raft paddles off the island
second blonde says "I wish I were 50 times smarter" poof turns her into a brunette she builds a sailboat sails off the island
third blonde looks at the first two, thinks for a few days and says "I wish I were a million times smarter then both of them combined" poof turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge
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Fail, INC
Club One
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,213
From: Team Sharpie
Originally Posted by zereaux
Originally Posted by jwaj2002
yea that one sucked
three blondes trapped on an island, they trip over a bottle and out pops a genie he says "I'll grant each of you one wish" first blonde says "I wish I were 10 times smarter" poof she turns into a redhead builds a raft paddles off the island
second blonde says "I wish I were 50 times smarter" poof turns her into a brunette she builds a sailboat sails off the island
third blonde looks at the first two, thinks for a few days and says "I wish I were a million times smarter then both of them combined" poof turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge
three blondes trapped on an island, they trip over a bottle and out pops a genie he says "I'll grant each of you one wish" first blonde says "I wish I were 10 times smarter" poof she turns into a redhead builds a raft paddles off the island
second blonde says "I wish I were 50 times smarter" poof turns her into a brunette she builds a sailboat sails off the island
third blonde looks at the first two, thinks for a few days and says "I wish I were a million times smarter then both of them combined" poof turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge
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Fail, INC
TOCC
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,052
From: Ico, Arkansas
Originally Posted by zereaux
Originally Posted by jwaj2002
yea that one sucked
three blondes trapped on an island, they trip over a bottle and out pops a genie he says "I'll grant each of you one wish" first blonde says "I wish I were 10 times smarter" poof she turns into a redhead builds a raft paddles off the island
second blonde says "I wish I were 50 times smarter" poof turns her into a brunette she builds a sailboat sails off the island
third blonde looks at the first two, thinks for a few days and says "I wish I were a million times smarter then both of them combined" poof turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge
three blondes trapped on an island, they trip over a bottle and out pops a genie he says "I'll grant each of you one wish" first blonde says "I wish I were 10 times smarter" poof she turns into a redhead builds a raft paddles off the island
second blonde says "I wish I were 50 times smarter" poof turns her into a brunette she builds a sailboat sails off the island
third blonde looks at the first two, thinks for a few days and says "I wish I were a million times smarter then both of them combined" poof turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 284
From: San Diego, CA
Two guys are applying for a job at a major corporate buisness. One of them is a Harvard grad, and the other is a top of his class grad from a community college. Both applicants are equally qualified and the associates are having a hard time deciding who they are going to hire.
One associate comes up with the idea to give them the same word to put into a rhyme or poem and whoever comes up with the best one will get the job.
They call in the Harvard grad and sit him down and say, "Winston, since we're having a hard time deciding who to hire we've decided to give you a word to put into a poem or rhyme."
"Whichever one of you has the best rhyme will get the job. That will be the tie breaker."
The associates give Winston the word which is "Timbucktoo."
Winston sits for a moment and thinks. After a few moments of deep thought he clears his throat and says...
"Off they went on their dashing steeds, side by side, two by two, destination, Timbucktoo."
The associates look at each other impressed and feel confident in Winston getting the job. In all fairness they must give the other applicant a chance. They call in the other applicant and sit him down and say...
"Teddy, we're going to give you a word, if you can put it into a rhyme or a poem that was better than Winston's, you get the job." The associates give Teddy the word... Timbucktoo.
Immediately Teddy replies...
"Me and Tim, into the woods we went, came across three hoes in a tent, they be three, we be two. I buck one... and Timbucktwo...
One associate comes up with the idea to give them the same word to put into a rhyme or poem and whoever comes up with the best one will get the job.
They call in the Harvard grad and sit him down and say, "Winston, since we're having a hard time deciding who to hire we've decided to give you a word to put into a poem or rhyme."
"Whichever one of you has the best rhyme will get the job. That will be the tie breaker."
The associates give Winston the word which is "Timbucktoo."
Winston sits for a moment and thinks. After a few moments of deep thought he clears his throat and says...
"Off they went on their dashing steeds, side by side, two by two, destination, Timbucktoo."
The associates look at each other impressed and feel confident in Winston getting the job. In all fairness they must give the other applicant a chance. They call in the other applicant and sit him down and say...
"Teddy, we're going to give you a word, if you can put it into a rhyme or a poem that was better than Winston's, you get the job." The associates give Teddy the word... Timbucktoo.
Immediately Teddy replies...
"Me and Tim, into the woods we went, came across three hoes in a tent, they be three, we be two. I buck one... and Timbucktwo...
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 284
From: San Diego, CA
Warning EXPLICIT... If you're sensitive to baby jokes don't read!
I hope I dont get in trouble for these...
1. How many babies does it take to paint a house?
It depends how hard you throw them.
2. What's the difference between a baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an Ax.
3. What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
Stopping it with a shovel.
4. How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends how hard you squeeze them.
5. How do you save a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off it's head.
6. How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
Nail his other hand to the ground.
7. How do you stop a baby from falling in a manhole?
Stick a javalin through it.
8. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
9. How do you get them out?
With tortilla chips!!!
Man... I'm going to hell for that...
I hope I dont get in trouble for these...
1. How many babies does it take to paint a house?
It depends how hard you throw them.
2. What's the difference between a baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an Ax.
3. What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
Stopping it with a shovel.
4. How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends how hard you squeeze them.
5. How do you save a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off it's head.
6. How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
Nail his other hand to the ground.
7. How do you stop a baby from falling in a manhole?
Stick a javalin through it.
8. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
9. How do you get them out?
With tortilla chips!!!
Man... I'm going to hell for that...