the official scionlife joke thread!!! post 'em here
Member
SL Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 89
From: Essex Junction, VT
A penguin is driving his car down the road, it stars smoking,
he takes in to the mechanic, and goes across the street to get some lunch while he's waiting,
he comes back back and the mechanis says "looks like you blew a seal"
the penguin says "no, thats just tarter sauce"
he takes in to the mechanic, and goes across the street to get some lunch while he's waiting,
he comes back back and the mechanis says "looks like you blew a seal"
the penguin says "no, thats just tarter sauce"
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,353
From: 'Burbs Farmington Hills - go to school in Boulder, CO
lolol more baby jokes!
whats green bubbling, and clawing at the window?
a baby in the microwave.
whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a nice old corvette?
i dont have a corvette in my garage.
how do you get a baby to stop crying?
feed him to a lion.
lol
whats green bubbling, and clawing at the window?
a baby in the microwave.
whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a nice old corvette?
i dont have a corvette in my garage.
how do you get a baby to stop crying?
feed him to a lion.
lol
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 284
From: San Diego, CA
^
whats funny than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown suit.
whats the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
you take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline.
whats the perfect gift for a dead baby?
a dead puppy.
why do you use a pitchfork to unload a truck of dead babies?
so you can find the live ones.
whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies?
a live one at the bottom.
whats worse than that?
him eating his way to freedom.
whats worse than that?
him going back for seconds.
whats pink and blue and flies around the room?
a baby with a punctured lung.
why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
so you can see the expression on its face.
...ok i'm so, so going to hell now...
whats funny than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown suit.
whats the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
you take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline.
whats the perfect gift for a dead baby?
a dead puppy.
why do you use a pitchfork to unload a truck of dead babies?
so you can find the live ones.
whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies?
a live one at the bottom.
whats worse than that?
him eating his way to freedom.
whats worse than that?
him going back for seconds.
whats pink and blue and flies around the room?
a baby with a punctured lung.
why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
so you can see the expression on its face.
...ok i'm so, so going to hell now...
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 761
From: Coke-a-Cola, SC
Originally Posted by mrfuzzy4
lolol more baby jokes!
whats green bubbling, and clawing at the window?
a baby in the microwave.
whats green bubbling, and clawing at the window?
a baby in the microwave.
Originally Posted by TrueSlide
whats pink and blue and flies around the room?
a baby with a punctured lung.
a baby with a punctured lung.
here's one...
what's silver, red all over and bumps into walls?
a baby with forks stuck in his eyes...
I'm going to hell now too...see you there mr fuzzy
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,353
From: 'Burbs Farmington Hills - go to school in Boulder, CO
look... i DONT actually know what a baby would look like in the microwave, but i was assume it would not be a family portrait. and trueslide, ill be right there with ya!
what do you sizzle on a pan, then eat for breakfast?
baby...
BABY! ITS WHATS FOR DINNER!
whats more fun than spin the bottle?
chuck the baby!
what do you sizzle on a pan, then eat for breakfast?
baby...
BABY! ITS WHATS FOR DINNER!
whats more fun than spin the bottle?
chuck the baby!
Senior Member
Team XcelsiA
SL Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,570
From: 2002 Day Member (8-6-11)
what's the difference between a dumptruck full of dead babies, and one full of bowling *****?
You can't unload the bowlingballs with a pitchfork.
What did Kenny G say when he got out the elevator?
Man, this place ROCKS!
You can't unload the bowlingballs with a pitchfork.
What did Kenny G say when he got out the elevator?
Man, this place ROCKS!
Senior Member
SL Member
Team N.V.S.
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,823
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per
hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across
at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty
years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65
mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of
it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And
she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly
and slowly increases the speed to 75 He pushes his luck. "I want the
house," he says insistently...
Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues.
85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit
cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and
smiles. "The airbag."
Moral of the Story :
Women are CRAZY !!!!!!!!
hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across
at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty
years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65
mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of
it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And
she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly
and slowly increases the speed to 75 He pushes his luck. "I want the
house," he says insistently...
Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues.
85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit
cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and
smiles. "The airbag."
Moral of the Story :
Women are CRAZY !!!!!!!!
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,092
From: Royal Post Palace
>
> I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS.........
>
> A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman
> wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't
> place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"
> To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
> Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
>
> to his wife and says, "My God! Are you the stripper from my bachelor
> party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
> watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
>
>
> She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math
> teacher."
> I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS.........
>
> A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman
> wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't
> place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"
> To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
> Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
>
> to his wife and says, "My God! Are you the stripper from my bachelor
> party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
> watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
>
>
> She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math
> teacher."
Senior Member
SL Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 587
From: Las Vegas. NV
A group of guys are hanging out at a bar discussing the benifits of sex and which gender enjoys sex more. Well as the conversation goes on they guys are saying things like well if girls enjoyed it more they would always be asking for it. and Well guys like it more because they arent afraid to talk about it and so on and so fourth. This discussing goes on until the Waitress finaly steps in and says. Ok guys I just have one question. When you have a really bad itch in you ear and you cant stand it so you stick your finger in their and scratch and scrath untill the itch goes away when you are done what feels better the Finger or th Ear..... Need less to say the guys didnt answer and the girl walked away! 
Senior Member
SL Member
Team N.V.S.
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,823
Originally Posted by I-Fly-High
A group of guys are hanging out at a bar discussing the benifits of sex and which gender enjoys sex more. Well as the conversation goes on they guys are saying things like well if girls enjoyed it more they would always be asking for it. and Well guys like it more because they arent afraid to talk about it and so on and so fourth. This discussing goes on until the Waitress finaly steps in and says. Ok guys I just have one question. When you have a really bad itch in you ear and you cant stand it so you stick your finger in their and scratch and scrath untill the itch goes away when you are done what feels better the Finger or th Ear..... Need less to say the guys didnt answer and the girl walked away!
