the official scionlife joke thread!!! post 'em here
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Trader
SL Member
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,188
From: 954! oh yeah...
One day.........God was giving out sex life
god told man, "i will give you 20 years of sex life"
man said, " thank you lord, i love sex"
god then told the monkey, "i will give you 20 years of sex life as well"
monkey said, "god...im always tired from swinging areound these trees, 20 is too much, ill take 10"
man said, "OH OH OH ill take his 10 extra years of sex life!!"
god agreed and gave it to him
god then told the lion, "20 years of sex life for you too"
lion said, "god, im always running and hunting after my prey, and ged badly hurt sometimes, 20 years is too much, ill take 10"
man said, "OH OH OH ill take his extra 10 as well god!"
god agreed and gave it to him
god then told the donkey, "i shall give you 20 years of sex life as well"
donkey said," God i am so slow and lazy that i will never use 20 years of sex life, ill take 10"
of course man said, "OH OH OH ill take his extra 10 also god"
god agreed and gave it to him
god then said to man, " so you will now have 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of LION about your sex life, and 10 years of acting like a total jack-$$ around women"
god told man, "i will give you 20 years of sex life"
man said, " thank you lord, i love sex"
god then told the monkey, "i will give you 20 years of sex life as well"
monkey said, "god...im always tired from swinging areound these trees, 20 is too much, ill take 10"
man said, "OH OH OH ill take his 10 extra years of sex life!!"
god agreed and gave it to him
god then told the lion, "20 years of sex life for you too"
lion said, "god, im always running and hunting after my prey, and ged badly hurt sometimes, 20 years is too much, ill take 10"
man said, "OH OH OH ill take his extra 10 as well god!"
god agreed and gave it to him
god then told the donkey, "i shall give you 20 years of sex life as well"
donkey said," God i am so slow and lazy that i will never use 20 years of sex life, ill take 10"
of course man said, "OH OH OH ill take his extra 10 also god"
god agreed and gave it to him
god then said to man, " so you will now have 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of LION about your sex life, and 10 years of acting like a total jack-$$ around women"
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,092
From: Royal Post Palace
The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had great s*x. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end."
The Frenchman boasts, "Last week when my wife and I had s*x, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes."
The Jewish man says, "Well, last week my wife and I had s*x too. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat), we made love, and she screamed for over six hours."
The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They asked, "What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?"
The Jewish man says, "I wiped my hands on the bedspread!!!"
------------------------
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
The Frenchman boasts, "Last week when my wife and I had s*x, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes."
The Jewish man says, "Well, last week my wife and I had s*x too. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat), we made love, and she screamed for over six hours."
The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They asked, "What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?"
The Jewish man says, "I wiped my hands on the bedspread!!!"
------------------------
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
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Team XcelsiA
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,570
From: 2002 Day Member (8-6-11)
Originally Posted by tC4italy
<snip>Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
"Five men tried to get him out...but he fought them off bravely."
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Scikotics
SL Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 485
From: Germantown, MD
ok pretty sexist but dats da only 1 i kno...sry grls i love yall [:
girls=time x money
time=money
therefore
girls=money squared
money=the root of all evil
therefore
girls=evil
u need a few SIMPLE math skills to understand it. sry.
girls=time x money
time=money
therefore
girls=money squared
money=the root of all evil
therefore
girls=evil
u need a few SIMPLE math skills to understand it. sry.
