This may be a repost, but I thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy:

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that chick knows I'm smarter than her.

 

You sir, are full of win.

 

That would be SO awesome if you actually did that.

 

people in the cubes next to me wondered what was so funny... so I sent this to them...

this seems more true than not..... and I wish I had done something like this to my ex.. lol

 

yes it has been posted before and no i don't know where its been post at some where in OT thats for sure

but who cares it was fun reading it all over again!!!

 

haahah that's awsome!!!!!! I was about 2 say this guys nutz buyin all that shyt just 4 _____

 

LOL

 

Haha, well, at least he was being honest! Better luck next time???

 

I gotta try that!

 

haha. respect.

 

HAHA!

 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

so to paraphrase...you "wanted" it one night and she wasn't in the mood for whatever reason, so as a response, you took off work to go shopping with her and gave her the impression she could buy a whole bunch of stuff on your dime, only to tell her she couldn't when she got to the counter....so you could rub it in how ____ed you were she didn't F you earlier. correct me if I'm wrong.

I guess that would work as a "gotcha" with women who need to F you to spend your money...it's a lot different if you interact with women who can earn their own money.
great joke though. ;)

 

now that is what you call GAME!

 

with a capital G, as in Good God, what was I thinking? My chick had a headache and I've embarrassed the ____ out of her at the jeweler's because I misinterpreted why she didn't want to bang me that one time.
;)

 

LMFAO,

WE MEN HAVE NEEDS, you ever see the movie Crank when he did it in public in china town?!?!?!

that man had needs hahaha

 

just tell your girl , BABE if i dont get non i die cuz i had a poison drink and by you doing it with me i live hahahahaa

 

yeah...okay....put down the poison drink. [/kidding]

 

hahahaha,

i would so do that to a girl just to show her

 

Funny