You know, what Tom said is true about PEOPLE being behind the posts.
It's easy to form opinions on folks when you don't see them.
Case in point: two guys were visiting us in LA this week for a big server install.
I've dealt with them via phone calls and emails, and had no real opinions on the guys but for what others told me.
After spending a week with them, I have to say my views have changed about 170° (hey, nobody can be perfect, right?)

I try to be kind and sometimes helpful, but have been dragged into online flames with people here (and other forums)
I never feel good after - it's like "dating" someone when you're drunk and then you sober up and blow them off. Guilty.

So, I'm one who tries to correct myself when I behave badly, and I've really tried lately to be a better member.

Here's to a better and kinder 2007 @ SL.

Scott

 

Sesh, that's good as long as it's small and the turkeys don't flock to it. Once it gets too big and all those folks with negative vibes end up there, it, too, will go the same way they have taken ScionLife.

Tomas (same at ClubxB)

 

A toast to that,

 

Bump for my plan for the stickers or whatever.........

 

Change the sig's folks!
It can be contagious!

 

Great thread! It really does ____ me off when people use the excuse of: "I tell it like it is".........yeah right

Its pure B.S. Whatever happened to being able to express your opinion on something without trying to rip someone to pieces. Ive really gotten sick of reading all the bashing going on here.
This is not about "hating". Its about being respectfull. Because I guarantee most people wouldnt talk that way to someone in real life.

So stop hiding your insecurities behind a computer people. Grow up.










1 love

 

your just mad cause i have the best xA in teh world man. and that my ride is tonz sicker than urz.

 

lol i have gotten flamed a couple times for my ideas..i think its just stupid..people are just to full of themselves and with out think OMG great scott batman that cars hidious or ridiculous or your siding with the enemy(another scion owner out of your club)
Its just ridiculous why cant people just consider the fact taht some things look good in other peoples eyes and thats why everyone has different tastes..Cars are like girls to guy some like em fat some like em skinny some like em chunky some like em paris hilton style..as the saying goes
What ever floats your boat.

 

i think its true what all of you have said.

however i also think that the saying " if you dont have anyting nice to say, dont say anything at all" doesnt apply to online forums. if one is to only recieve positive comments, then he/she will continue to do what they are doing thinking that everyone agrees with it.

some times i will post up if i dont like something, or i will speak my mind, or if i know someone is saying something that is wrong i will correct them, however sometimes i just completely ignore it.

some board members dont take "speaking the truth, or telling it how it is" is the right thing to do, trust me i know.

i just got banned from socal-tc-club.com for speaking my mind, i said i didnt think two tones belonged on a tC.. and bam, about 2 hours later someone got offended and i guess complained to the prez.. whatever.

i wouldnt say the whole community is going downhill, however it has come to be known that SL isnt one of the "kindest" scion boards.. its another honda-tech for all i know.. where if you dont follow the norm, then you arent welcomed. ill admit that i spend alot of time on these forums, but i also frequent YSTC and CSTC alot but havent really registered there, because i just pick up on the info i need.

all in all, i think SL is a great board, and half of us here wouldnt have any of hte knowledge about scions that we do if it didnt exist..

before someone takes offense to this post.. it is all IMHO

 

The idea of "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" is going too far, and I don't believe that's what folks have truly meant - I know I didn't.

It believe it is more of "if you don't have something nice to say, find a nice way to say what you have to."

If you can't stand a kit that someone has put on their car, don't say something like "That kit you put on your car really sucks. It makes the whole thing look like some ghetto **** wagon." Instead something like "Not my style at all, and I wouldn't do it to mine, but its a good paint job and tight fit."

Remember you are giving an opinion not the gospel truth. You might pull off saying something like "In my opinion it makes the front end look too busy" but not just "It makes the front end look bad. Nobody should EVER do something like that!"

Whenever you give a negative opinion, especially, make sure it is understood it is just your opinion, and not an absolute. It makes the negative a little easier to swallow for some guy who just sunk his heart (and big bucks) into something HE likes and YOU don't. Hey! It's his car.

If at all possible, soften criticism with a complement. "I don't care for the color, but it sure looks like a nice paint job."

Don't blame the other guy for having all of his taste in his mouth - it might be you who does.

(... but I have seen some cars it is exceedingly difficult to complement. )

Tom

 

I'm glad this thread has gone well :D

 

i agree with teabox on the whole scene i ve only been a member for a year and have watched it all turn into something else

from fun to lame. egos and attitudes!

there is so much to say but the truth will get you banned!
ask me my opinion and you might agree!

the seasons just getting started! it has to get better right?

and the new xb has people skratching there heads, i like my old school xb just fine now im faced with the mortality of my cars life but toyotas pretty good about spare parts
but will the after market be as kind?

as far as the "comumunity" oh well it is what its is but talking trash never helps!

so-cal is a b.s. place but a key point in the car world(look at the diversity of cars)
its lame here its too superficial and image based

this site in particular was about helping exchange info and ideas! not hindering them

do what you will to your car and dont trash some one elses its not yours!

 

Thanks for the info Tomas… “If someone is attacking another, hit the [!] button on that post and explain the problem. We might be able to help in some small way sometimes.”… I was just about to suggest that there should be a way to report these things (I was unaware that there already was). So what do the Mods do with these? Do they simply lock this thread, or do they send a PM to the offender?

Psyco565 also has a good suggestion... “If you have evidence of there being a farce then make sure it is well documented and please resolve it privately with the parties involved.”… Sometimes people write things that are interpreted differently. With typed comments, you lose the body language and vocal tones that differentiate from being sarcastic versus sincere. If you feel offended, try to reply privately with clear and concise language to clear up any misconception (a 1-on-1 conversation might even create a friendship). If that fails, then notify the Mods of an “intentional bashing” (they have better things to do than to clarify misunderstandings).

Personally, I have not felt any “hating” towards me, and have refrained from “hating” on others. I can be sarcastic at times, but refrain from commenting when I seriously don’t like something (although I may try to add “constructive criticism”). Do unto others…. that is the rule…

Bump to the “spreading the love” thread… those are the people we really want on ScionLife.

 

What we do varies depending on the situation. If it is a clearcut attack on another member, that is against the ScionLife rules and the perp will often be warned, sometimes banned.

For lesser offenses it can be anything from just letting it pass (some criticism is necessary) to editing or deleting, or locking, or PMs with cautions or warnings. Whew!

What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that any report is looked at, and the mod looking at the report has to make a decision on the seriousness of the problem and respond accordingly. Since this takes time, and there are only a limited number of free volunteer labor hours available, we hope that the stuff reported is worth it. (There are only a dozen of us, 30,000 of you - we get stretched pretty thin sometimes.)

Some coarseness is expected and just has to be accepted, but if it goes beyond what one should have to accept, we do try to take some sort of appropriate action.

(Personally, I hate diving into the flagged posts bucket. One never knows what one will find, and it usually takes a half hour of poking around to get even a basic idea of the problem.)

Tom

 

Sometimes the "truth" hurts!!....

Since I dont "sugar coat" opinions...Some people on here get "butt-hurt" then have to leave a Really adolescent comment and then...so on!...

I havent seen SL...get that bad!!......

 

^^I don't think one necessarily needs to "sugar coat," the problem is when one "sh*t coats" their opinion.

 

Wow.....that was a long read!
As a good friend puts in his siggy on another site "you have to give respect to get respect"
Its ok not to like something or someone. Just be a bigger person and say something nice or in a Tactful way.
Be apart of the Solution....not a part of the problem....
I'm happy for all of you and your rides!Do what you like......at the end of the day your the one driving it and paying for it! If your happy with it....I'm Happy for you!

 

Saw the topic of your post and was ready to take you on because I disagree that the community is going downhill. Once I read your initial post I got what you were saying and mostly agree. I don't think it's necessarily going downhill though. I think the main issues are caused by thoughtless criticism and the need some people have to feel they are better or elite.

Clubs are awesome. They can regenerate interest and bring fun to the table when they have good leadership. A good car club leader knows to stay away from the negatives (except to confront stupidity and hate) and to make being part of their club a positive, fun experience. Clubs should be a positive force or they are worthless.

Criticism? It's a waste of bandwidth, time and energy when it's too negative or harsh. Once somebody's modded their car (spent the money and time working), even when they ASK for opinions, what good does it do anyone to have someone tell them they did a bad job or made a bad choice? The mod is done and the rest of us should keep the negative comments to ourselves if we are thinking them. It's one thing to tell somebody we would have done things differently, it's another to tell them their efforts were wasted or their ideas suck. We make people feel bad about their work and then we wonder why people come and go they way they do? I'm not saying we should sugar-coat anything, just put ourselves in the other guy's shoes when we're telling them what we think.

The Scion community should be common ground and not a field of competition. Clubs should find ways to come together periodically (besides car shows) and show the world how big they really are. Competition is healthy but what are we trying to win? There are no trophies given out for being an a$$ that I have seen. There are plenty of them for good times though. All you have to do is check out the photos people post and count the smiles. And here's a clue; if the people in our pics aren't looking like they're having a good time then something is wrong with this picture.

Every community/family has their conflicts. The trick is to stick through them and make things better as you go. The Scion community isn't going downhill in my opinion, it just gets off-track once in a while.

My question to everyone is: Are you going to help steer or are you just going to push?

 

Thicken up you bunch of candy-a$$es!!