Chuck Norris doesn't need a bat to play baseball. He takes a viagra and is good for 9 innings.

In an episode of Punk'd, Ashton Kutcher put cling wrap over Chuck Norris' toilet. Later that day, Chuck placed land mines in Ashton Kutcher's toilet.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

Chuck Norris in the only person who can RHK a field goal.

 

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands, they are now know as the Islands!

 

more please, everyone in my office is now trading Chuck Norris facts! LOL!!!!!

 

This is the first I've seen of this....it just made my day

haha....I'm not so sure your internet superiority is something to brag about J/K

 

Chuck Norris can make the Kessel Run in less than 10 parsecs.

Not a huge lover of nature, Chuck Norris once killed a cloud.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's flippin' beef.

Chuck Norris once met a bear while walking through the forest. Chuck Norris showed the bear his fists. At this time, the bear proceeded to eat itself knowing that it would be a less painful way to die.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

 

Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.

Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.

Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.

 

Someone once asked "What came first the chicken or the egg?" The answer is Chuck Norris.

 

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

 

PHIXEUS.... 32 letters?

 

 

The other 6 letters are prounancable only by Chuck Norris and in fact, make up his middle name. The last person who asked what they are got a roundhouse kick to the face. Therefore, the rest of us only use 26 letters of the alphabet.

 

 

 

:D:D:D

 

OMG started CRYING at work reading this... my co-workers think I'm effing insane.. funniest sh*t EVER.

 

Chuck Norris has a few facts to submit as well, however he hasn't sent them in becuase Chuck Norris doesn't submit to anything.