Here Here!

 

I posted this in another thread:

By spanking a child, you teach a child it's ok to hit when someone uses their best judgement.

You're not just teaching them "do something bad, you get spanked". You're showing them what behaviour is acceptable in every action that you do as a parent, and that "smart people can hit dumb people to correct their behaviour" or "big people can hit small people to correct their behaviour" depending on how they view it from their impressionable mind.

and yes i have a son myself.

 

So then Dave, how do you correct your son?

 

well i saw the thread and had to respond. . . im actually kinda shocked at the poll. . . I am a mom a 2 1/2 year old boy. . . i dont see anything bad enough worth hitting him for. . . although at this point he is extremely innocent. In my opinion i think there are better ways to disipline (i agree with ^)

 

I also posted this in another Thread aswell....

You hug a lot of Trees, dont you?




So how do you discipline your child

 

well what works for me is being on his level. . . honestly talking to my son in a calm matter works so much more then yellin or spankin. . . he wont respect you if u do that. . .which means he wont do what u ask if u hit him . . . thats my opinion but im a single mom so i feel like i cant be the bad guy and the good guy haha

 

oh yeah one more thing i wonder how many people who said they WOULD spank there kids actually have kids. . . just a thought i mean i was spanked as a kid and i thought i would do the same until i had one myself. . .

 

I grew up with a guy who always got his way from Elementary through High school. I saw his parents get really mad at him one time and all they said was your grounded for a week........I will prolly see him in about 30 more years when he is released from TDC for 2 accounts of murder

 

To each his own. Some children don't learn as well as others. So, I think that if you have talked to your child about not doing something and they continue to do it, you must punish the child.

Like I said before, you don't have to hit the child but there must be some sort of corrective action. Talking does not work every time with every child regardless of how much you want to believe it or what fantasy land you live in.

So, if you are not going to be forceful with the punishment, what are you going to do?

My cousin was not beat as a child - just talked to... repeatedly by several people. He has been in and out of jail and just won't learn because he knows he can always run to his mommy for comfort and protection.

 

if ur assuming my kid gets his way ur beyond wrong but im kinda new at this thread thing so i dunno i cant tell anyways i just wanted to reply and actually see what some people thought

 

like you say every child is different im not saying i dont punish my child i just do it in different ways not hitting. . . u can also turn it aroudn and have a child continuously beaten and grows up to be and angry murder as well. . . i guess nobody really knows

 

Your right....I dont have any kids....gotta lot of neices and nephews and I cant wait to have kids of my own...I know it will be hard to say no and have to punish my children when i have them especially if I have a girl. One mistake I see parents make is allowing their children to make their own descions at a young age when it should be up to the parents

 

I got spanked, that's why my butt is like a bubble shape and I thank him for that!!!!




lmao! I'm glad he did so. I cannot tolerate spoiled kids. And my parents always thank God for their 3 educated and proper girls; and then they congratulate themeselves too and then maybe we had a part in it too lol.

But yeah spoiled kids exist because of the negligence from their parents to resolve this kind of 'issue'.

 

and i agree with you. . . people dont know how to say no. . . and since my parents help me out a lot i guess being grandparents is different bc they cant say no and thats just a whole nother ball park lol

 

Like I said - to each his own. And different children have different needs and learn differently. If you can talk to your child and he learns that way, then I commend you for your parenting skill and hope it always works.

But for those that have tried that approach and it didn't work, well they have to try something else.

And yes, I had a daughter - so I know what being a parent feels like.

 

first, i don't have to do alot of "correcting" of my son.

See children always are "about to do something or be somewhere". Being smarter than they are and not letting them "get to whereever they are wanting to go next" without behaving properly is all you have to do.

If my child is doing something they shouldn't, I stop that behaviour by verbal correction, if they don't pay attention right away, take away their toy, turn off the t.v. get right in front of their eyes and make them pay attention while looking at you. Make them listen, understand and agree with you before they do anything else or go anywhere else. Yes you can do that.

Using common sense works.

See most parents let their children wine and scream for a while, or break something before they "interfere". They shouldn't, you need to get right on that right away, don't let 2 seconds go by. Parents usually are watching the game, or doing something they think is "really important" and let a kid do something naughty and then get on them after the fact. Nipping that behaviour right away is what you're supposed to do. You don't teach people not to steal by letting them steal first, then punishing them.

i.e. If you have 2 kids around, and one kid starts whining, and you know the other kid is going to start hitting that kid after they hear that whining, STOP THE FIRST KID WHINING, DON'T WAIT UNTIL THE SECOND STARTS HITTING.

If there is a certain toy that causes 2 kids to always fight over sharing, either #1 get 2 toys that are the same, or take away that 1 and make them pick something else.

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY LET YOUR KIDS GROW UP FCUKED UP, GOOD LUCK! People need to be good parents everyday from day one, not just day 3 and 13 and 246th... Yes, some kids can be rehabilitated, but not if their parent isn't the one doing it, it'll probably be unsuccessful.

 

I disagree. By spanking my son I taught him that if he does something bad enough, he gets spanked. He didn't like getting spanked so he did those bad things a lot less often. It's not rocket science. It's not teaching that violence is ok. It's not teaching that hitting is ok. He knows the difference. I was spanked as a kid and I know the difference.

 

Depends on how it's done. "Junior, do you want a or b?" is just fine. Saying, "junior, what do you want" is not smart. Junior gets overwhelmed, but leave it to 2 - 3 options teaches the child to make their own decisions.

Another mistake parents will make is when junior changes his mind, they move and heaven and earth to accomidate them. Or moving heaven and earth to accomidate them on a regular basis. The only purpose of this is to teach the child that the world revolves around them, and that is just a recipie for disaster.

 

very well said dave . . . i agree

 

Ok, I can see how that can work. But what happens when you are not around? What happens when he/she goes to school and then the teacher is "too busy"?

What about when he/she lies to you? What happens if they know they can lie to you and get away with it... What happens when they start to weigh the consequences?

What then?

It seems to me that you may be with your children alot. If you are, then maybe your form works. But if your not, does it still work?